Mistakes
by Emiii611
Summary: Feeling rejected and lonely after Dimitri told her 'Love fades, mine has' Rose finds it best to run away from her problems. Finding herself in Russia, with Dimitri's family. There's an unexpected visit, from an unwanted person. -Takes place when Dimitri tells Rose his love has 'faded' in spiritbound'
1. Only the beginning

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy and It's Characters.**

**But secretly, Dimitri's mine. Ssh. Joking! but i wish i wasn't**

**IMPORTANT! **

**Check me out on wattpad, under the username of 'Emii611'. I have a story called "Steele His Heart" and it would be amazing if you could support me, make an account on wattpad and comment, vote and fan (Only if you love)! Summary below. This story (Mistakes) is also being posted on wattpad! **

"I know you miss me." His hot breath fanned against my neck, making a cold shudder run through my body. We were merely inches apart; frightening me in ways I didn't know possible. I was so close to my chance of winning. But what did I do? I did what I always do.

I ran.

Staying away from trouble and keeping up her grades was what Kasey Hawkins strived for. She wasn't the type of girl who spent her time drooling over hot boys or talking about the latest fashion trend. She kept to herself most of the time, hiding in the shadows, with her one and only best friend, Ann Moore, who has a constant passion for the wild side of life.

However, when Ann convinces Kasey to go to one of those 'amazing' high school parties, she manages to make possibly one of the worst mistakes ever, which she will certainly regret for the rest of her life. She made a deal with the devil, aka Erika Carlson.

Will Kasey be able to steal the heart of Colin Steele? The most arrogant, but hottest guy at Yorkton High? Or will she have to spend the rest of her life as his girlfriend's maid?

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><p>Chapter One 'Only the Beginning'<p>

"I've given up on you...Love fades, Mine has."

It felt like a bucket of cold water was being splashed onto me. Tears threatening to fall, I will not cry for this man, I thought. I placed up my best mask. Making my face impalpable. I turned around on my heels. Walking out of the church. I ran, ran as fast as I could. Not paying attention to anything around me. I found myself past the wards covered by trees surrounding the perimeter. I was probably about five minutes away from the wards, running. I sat against a tree, threw my head back and looked up at the dark sky. So what if a Strigoi comes, the world is better off without me. Lissa has chosen her path, she's only been spending time with Dimitri, and I hardly exist to her anymore. Hell I bet that they have an affair together. Dimitri sucking Lissa's face. I shivered, shoving that thought to the back of my head. I will not think about that.

"Rose." I heard someone call me.

"Rose!" I felt someone pull me into their arms. Stroking my hair. I broke. I started crying.

"How... could... he... say..." I tried saying in-between sobs. But someone shushed me.

"It's alright little Dhampir."

"Adrian..." I sobbed. "Stay with me."

"Yes. Let's get you back behind the wards." It all came back to me. The ghosts were surrounding me, everything went black.

"Go!" I shouted. They disappeared slowly, one after the other. Lissa's emotions flooded my head, concern, worry, hurt, and anger. I blocked her. Substantial with my own anger towards her and Dimitri.

Adrian wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pushing me into him. I let my weight enfold him. He hauled me away, back towards court.

As I passed the wards, my head grew calmer, and clearer. I let my some of my walls down, still blocking Lissa. I couldn't think about her right now. I know it's not fair to be angry with Lissa for just helping Dimitri, but hell that's all she's been doing. I wonder if Christian feels the same. Adrian kissed my forehead.

"Can we go back to your apartment?" I asked him.

"Of course, my little Dhampir." Adrian picked me up, bridal style. Maintaining to go to his apartment. I snuggled into his chest. Feeling at ease with his warmth and comfort. Maybe I could give him a chance, I could learn to fall in love with him, and it would not be the same as Dimitri, of course. But Dimitri told me his that his love for me has faded. I don't believe that though, love can't just fade, can it? I closed my eyes, leaning my head against his chest and sighed.

"Yes." I whispered.

"What?" Adrian asked.

"Yes... I will give you a chance." I opened my eyes to find big emerald green ones. He had a massive grin plastered on his face. His eyes bore into me, asking if I was serious. I nodded.

"Thank you!" He beamed. He brought his face to mine. He's going to kiss me. I thought he was going to kiss my lips, but he didn't he went for my forehead. Few. A breath I didn't know that I was holding was released.

"I'm not going to force myself on you, I want to take it slow." Adrian said, noticing my reaction. I nodded in understand meant.

"Thank you." I murmured. "If you don't mind."

"Not, at, all." He whispered.

I smiled, for the first time today. I closed my eyes, falling into a deep sleep. I haven't been able to sleep this good in months.

I woke up, thinking of my nightmare from last night. I shuttered. I looked around the room, adjusting to where I was. I didn't recognize it. I got up from the bed.

"Ow." My back killed. I put my hands on my hips and strolled to the door. My arm came out getting closer to the knob when it started to budge. I jumped back. The door swung open. Adrian was standing at the entrance. My jaw fell open.

"It wasn't a dream was it." I said reality pushing it's way to me.

"I'm sorry...but, no, you're not going to change your mind about..." I knew what he was going to say; I gave him a chance yesterday.

"Of course I'm not." I interrupted. "But, I just wish... I don't know... How come life has to be so difficult!" I groaned in frustration. "It's not fair! My life is falling apart. I'm falling apart." I started to sob, and stumbled, my legs locking I started to fall. Adrian caught me before I hit the ground. He took my lifeless body into his arms, cradling me, like a little child after she had gotten hurt. I don't cry. stop crying! I yelled at myself. What has this man done to me?

I spent two weeks trapped in my room, crying. Adrian was the only person I would let in my room. He would comfort me, and tell me he loves me. We shared a couple of kisses. I needed it; I needed to know that I was loved. Lissa have been trying to contact me, mentally, the bond, and physically. Knocking on my door and trying to ring my phone, I have shut it off, to many calls. Them all leaving the same message.

'I've been worried about you, are you ok? Please come out and talk.' Blah, Blah, Blah! Just leave me alone!

I heard that Dimitri was let out of jail. He hasn't bothered trying to reach me though. My stomach growled, loudly.

"I'm starving." I mumbled to myself. Adrian wasn't coming over for another three hours, with food. I groaned. My stomach growled again.

"Ok! Ok!" I grumbled. I threw on a black tank top and jeans. Brushed through my hair quickly, and put it up into a messy ponytail. I brushed my teeth, and then tossed my shoes onto my feet. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I slowly reached for the door, clasp my hand around the knob, moving it to the right slowly. I opened the door, swinging it open. I stepped out. Breathing in the air around me.

This was the first time in two weeks that I have ever taken the courage to step out of my apartment. I thought of where I could go for food, there was a cafeteria at court. I guess I could just go there. I got to the Cafeteria without being interrupted. I bought myself two cheeseburgers, fries, and a coke. I sat at a table near the back. No one would notice me here. Soon I withdraw from everything around me, focusing on my food. Reminding myself to breath, chow and swallow. There was a huge stress tension built around me. Pulling me down to the ground. My mood was shooting all over the place; bouncing off the walls and coming straight back to me. Aftershave filled the air, He was here.

Why did he have to come here, at this time. Did he follow me? No of course not, why would he do that. After all, he's been ignoring me. Even though I've been the one hiding. I shook that thought off and concentrated on building my wall up.

"May I sit here?" His Russian accent merged with his beautiful voice.

"Whatever." I said coldly. He took a seat across from me.

"How've you been?" He asked. I feel like crap you dick.

"Good." I said with deception. Dimitri didn't look convinced, but ignored it.

"So..." He started. I looked at my phone. Pretending I got a text. I sat up from the table.

"I've gotta go." I texted Adrian.

'Help me. Dimitri.'

"Wait!" Dimitri said grabbing for my arm as I tried to walk away. I jolted out of his reach.

"Don't. Touch. Her." Someone growled slowly from behind me. Adrian to the rescue. Just in time. Adrian put a protective arm around my shoulders.

"I didn't..." Dimitri started but Adrian cut him off with a growl. I shrunk a little when I saw Adrian's face. If looks could kill, Dimitri would already be ten feet under.

Dimitri backed off, face full of hurt. And walked the opposite direction. Serves him right, how dare he! Acting like I'm the one who's hurting him, him thinking that he can talk to me after, telling me that his love has faded for me. Anger emerged threw me. Steam could have been coming out of my ears.

I cursed loudly once he was out of hearing reach. I was being pulled back. I spun around to punch whoever was touching me, but stopped myself just in time to see that it was Adrian who was touching me. My anger diminished, looking into those emerald green eyes. I realized, that I do love him.

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><p><strong><strong>I'm writing another story called 'Last Sacrifice' i will be continuing that, and continue updating as often as i always do. Thank you :) remember to review and tell me what you thought...<strong>**


	2. To many tears

**Here's the next chapter :) Thank you for your reviews.**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire academy and it's Characters**

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><p>Chapter Two 'To many tears'<p>

I have my iPod on, listening to 'Just can't get enough' by Black eyed peas. Doing my daily runs that I've started lately. No matter how much I hate running I've grown attached to it, it helps me burn of the steam I've created inside of me. Pushing myself harder, I keep on going. My chest feels like it could burst out any second. My legs becoming stiff, each time I pump them.

"Rose." I ignored it.

"Rose."

Get lost. I thought. A figure stood in front of me. I looked up to see a pissed off Lissa. Hands on hips, blonde hair running down in waves. The face of an angel, transforming into the devils secretary.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" She barked.

"Your not my mother, now eff off!" Her emotions broke through the wall. Hurt, confusion, and then most of all, anger. Just then 'Where'd you go' by Fort Minor came on. Perfect.

_Where'd you go?_

_I miss you so,_

_Seems like it's been forever,_

_That you've been gone._

_Where'd you go?_

_I miss you so,_

_Seems like it's been forever,_

_That you've been gone,_

_Please come back home..._

Tears threatened to fall. I've cried enough, especially for him. I shoved the tears back, hurting my face in the process.

"I have to go." I said, turning around.

"Please." She said cracking at the end.

I spun around.

"What do you want!" I growled. She squealed, jumping back a foot.

"I-I." Her face-hardened. "You're a bitch!" Woah, hearing her swear stung me, especially because it was to me.

"You're a whore, sleeping with your mentor. You've been nothing but a whore your whole life." I couldn't breath. I stepped back, tears falling down my face. I couldn't stay here, I had to leave. I wasn't wanted here. I ran, not enjoying one moment of it. I came across Eddie.

"Rose, are you alright?" He asked, voice full of concern.

"I'm fine." I said, shockingly clearly.

"No, your not. I'm here for you Rose, you know that you can talk to me, if anything you can come to me if you need to." I nodded. For some reason not believing him. I scampered in the direction of Adrian's apartment. I pounded on his door until he opened it. Adrian opened the door.

"Hey, hey." He said soothingly. He pulled me into his embrace. I poured myself out to him, telling him everything that Lissa had said.

"I can't stay."

"Woah, what?" Adrian asked.

"I need time, then I'll come back."

"No, you left once, you aren't leaving again."

"Adrian, you can't tell me what I can or cannot do." He sighed.

"If you're going to leave, then take this." He said handing me a credit card.  
>"I promise you, I will not follow you, I just don't want you to be stranded out there without money and…"<p>

"No…"

"No?"

"No, if you want you can come."

"I-I." I felt purely rejected. Maybe, maybe I'm not needed at all in this world anymore; I'm no longer needed, just another deserted soul walking this earth.

"Ok, it's fine, really." Adrian gave me an apologetic look.

"I really, really do wanna come, I just…"

"You don't have to go, it's fine. I promise I will be back."

I brought my lips to his, it was soft and gentle. A moment later I pulled back.

"I love you." I said for the first time. I brushed my hand along his face; he lent his face against my hand.

"I love you my little Dhampir, I will be waiting." He said with a sad smile. I shook my head.

"No, don't wait for me, move on. You will find someone better for you, I may be gone for awhile."

That's the last time I ever saw him. It's been a year since I have left court. Left my life. I've traveled to places that I've wanted to visit. Italy, New York City, Mexico, Australia. Currently I am in Russia. Just getting off of the train in Baia. I never gave them an explanation of why I left, hell only Yeva knew that I was leaving. She had followed me as I was walking away.

What if they're all mad at me for leaving, Viktoria hates me. Getting into a taxi and telling him the direction of where I wanted to go, I put on my IPod. Placing one headphone into my right ear. I looked out the window, to see my reflection. My hairs gotten longer, my face has matured more, my body more curvy than it use to be. Not much has happened to me in the past year. I just travel from place to place, not bothering to make any friends. I've used Adrian's credit card, but only for emergences. The shortest time I stay at each place is at least a month, working at stores, or fast food restaurants and any other open job I can find, that is small.

I'm hoping that the Belikovas would invite me into their home. If they don't, I'm on the road again, being as home less as I've ever felt my whole life. The taxi came up a rough dirt road. Slowing down, I knew that we were here. Taking a deep breath. I stepped out of the car. I leaned my body towards the car, peeking inside.

"Stay here, I'll pay you in a second."

"Ok, hurry up." The driver said. Rude much. I strode toward the house. Getting closer and closer. I at last have reached the door. I brought my fist back. Closed my eyes and brought my fist forward. Striking the door. I repeated once more, before the door opened. To reveal Viktoria. Viktoria blinked, to see if she was actually seeing me.

"Rose?" She asked.

"It's me." I said quietly, scared of what she would say. She pulled me into a hug, embracing me and murmuring things in Russian that I didn't understand.

"I'm so sorry Rose, you were right, right about everything. Rolan is a complete jerk and idiot, I should have listened to you." She cried. "You didn't have to leave, I didn't mean for you to leave." She blamed herself this whole time that it was her fault for my leaving.

"Viktoria, it wasn't your fault that you left…I left…. to go save." I gulped. "Your brother." It hurt to think about him, I refused to say or to think about his name. Pain flashed clearly across her face.

"Has no one told you?" She looked up at me, confusing taking over the pain.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your brother, he's Dhampir again." Anger sparked her face.

"Stop lying." She yelled.

"I found a way to heal him, Lissa staked him with Spirit injected in the stake, making him Dhampir again." A car honked, I turned around to see a pissed of taxi driver.

"Sorry, excuse me." I ran towards the taxi grabbed my stuff from the truck and handing him the money.

"Viktoria, this is not something that I would joke about, did he seriously not call, not once?" She looked like she was about to cry. I dropped my stuff on the ground and took her in my arms.

"Not once." She said. After Viktoria had stopped crying she helped me bring my stuff into the spare room, which is his room. The rest of the family is out. Viktoria said that the family would be happy to see me. Sonya had a little baby named Zoya. She was pregnant with her last time I came here. I lay down on my bed, tasting my room once again. I had used this room when I had gone here last time, about a year ago. I closed my eyes, waiting for darkness to take me, but it never did. So I lay awake, waiting for the family to arrive home.

I heard a door open, then shut. Voices echoed through the house. They were back. I was worried, what if they don't accept me? What if there all mad that I had left? Will they think that I'm lying when I tell them that he's Dhampir? So many questions. I heard a chorus of Roza being repeated frantically followed by gasps. Viktoria must have told them I was here. I started shaking slightly. Footsteps getting closer and closer, up the stairs. Then right in front of my room. The door opened. To reveal Yeva. Looking slightly older than before, but not to bad.

"Thank you for saving my grandson." I smiled, weakly.

"He has chosen the wrong path." She said shaking her head. "It is not destined for you to go your separate ways." She sighed.

"I'm glad your back." She smiled, showing her teeth. A couple were missing.

"Me to." I got up from the bed, walking towards the door. I closed my eyes.

"He will be coming for Christmas." I opened them and starred into her chocolate brown eyes. I nodded my head.

She turned around and walked away. I went downstairs to go see the rest of the family. Right when I got down the last stairs I was crowded with hugs and 'I've missed you!' 'Where did you go?' and, 'why did you leave!'

"I have to tell you all something." They all quieted down. I looked over to see Viktoria's face, it showed, happiness, nervous, and understanding.

"and you may want to be sitting when I tell you." We walked into the living room. Karolina, Olena, Sonya, Zoya cradled in Sonya's arms, Yeva, Viktoria, and last but certainly not least, Paul. Looking at him brings me back so many memories. He looks just like him.

Once we were all seated, I began to talk.

"Your son, grandson, and brother is Dhampir." Looking at everyone, pain, anger, disbelief and shock filled their faces. Except in Viktoria's and Yeva, they didn't look shocked at all, they were both calm. I had already told Viktoria, and Yeva, well I cant explain that.

"You're lying." Sonya said. I shook my head.

"No, I'm not."

"Cut it out!" Karolina yelled. Hands over her ears. She stood up, about to leave.

"Karolina, wait, sit down!" I pleaded. She looked over at me. She sighed and sat back down.

"Just let me explain, please." They all stayed quiet, letting me speak. I told them everything, leaving out that I had let Viktor out. I told them that Lissa had staked him with a spirit-injected stake. Brining his soul back to his body. They all kept quiet, taking everything in. Everyone had tears in their eyes, finding out that he was still alive. If only I could feel happy about it, I feel empty inside, lonely, I have nobody. Karolina and Sonya sat, came over to me and embraced me in a hug.

"We're so sorry that we doubted you." They cried. "It must have been so hard." I never told them that he had me in hostage, holding me as his own personal blood whore, I shuttered from that thought. I also was not going to tell them that he told me his love has faded. I will not have his family hate him because of me. Everyone joined in on the hug, embracing each other and cries of joy. I felt at home again, maybe I don't have to be so lonely after all. I can stay with the Belikovas; they accept me, more than I have ever felt in the last year and a half. But on Christmas, Christmas… He will be coming here.

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><p><strong>What did you guys think? Love it? hate it?<strong>

**I know that it was boring, but it's just the beginning, It will get better, promise :) **


	3. Can love really fade?

**Thank you all for your reviews! i appreciate them all and it helps me write faster! (Hint) **

**I'm sorry that i took awhile to update, i have an exam in two weeks so i will not be updating so often, since i will be studying...sorry! **

**Disclaimer: Me: Rose do you want the honour of saying the disclaimer?**

**Rose: No, now fuck off.**

**Me: It wasn't an option.**

**Rose: Go find someone else who cares**

**Me: Rosemarie, just say the damn disclaimer! please.**

**Rose: *groans* **

**Rose, if you stop talking to me then fine!**

**Me: Yah! **

**Rose: Richelle Mead owns vampire Academy...you know the rest**

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><p>Chapter Three 'Can love really fade?'<p>

It's been a month from when I first came here, three more months until he will be coming. I've blocked Lissa; the last time I ever took her darkness from her was about a year and a half ago. I wonder how she's doing... No, she abandoned me, she chose him over me.

Adrian doesn't visit my dreams, I wish he would. I miss him, I wish we could have had something, if I were to ever go back and he still had feelings for me and hasn't gone off and found someone else. I would, really would date him, I wouldn't leave again. But I hope he isn't waiting, I want him to be happy... because I wont be going back any time soon, The Belikovas have noticed that something is wrong with me and... Him. They haven't asked anything about it, they have given me my space.

I heard that Lissa is now queen. Queen Tatiana had given her throne over to Lissa. I haven't heard much about Dimitri...I mentally slapped my self. Damn, I said his name... I miss him, more than I can admit to myself. But he said his love has faded. I've asked myself over and over again, can love really fade? There are two answers to that, yes and no. He is my soul mate, part of myself was torn out of me when he was turned Strigoi, I was empty. Once I found out I could safe him, I had hope. He became Dhampir, that part growing back. Then once he said his love has faded, that part shattered all over again. I've never felt full after that day.

Viktoria and I are going to a party tonight. So she insisted that we had to go shopping, Viktoria isn't all that into shopping like me. But since I didn't have any clothes, she said that we just had to go shopping. Were at the mall, just walking around, looking at the stores, until we come across one that we want to look in. I have already gotten a couple shirts, jeans and shorts. We finally crossed a dress store, walking in Viktoria led us to the short dresses. We tried on a few.

She came out in a strapless light blue dress, just below her butt, front ruffle from her right breast, moving in the middle all the way down to the bottom of the dress. She looked darn sexy.

"how do I look" She asked.

"Perfect, you have to get that one." She smiled.

"Your turn." I walked into the dressing room and tried on a couple, I finally found the right one. It was a one strap black dress, just below the butt. The strap was single beaded, pleated off the shoulder strap. Showing off every curve on my body.

Viktoria gasped when she saw me.

"You're getting that one, no excuses." I took it off, getting back into my original clothing. We bought our dresses and then went to a jewelry store. If you buy a dress you can't go on without jewelry.

We went to the earring section. I picked out black/crystal rhinestone teardrop earrings. There were four crystals running down stem, until you reach the teardrop shaped black gemstone. The gem is surrounded with crystals.

Viktoria picked out plain big silver hoop earrings. We moved to the necklace section. I got the matching pair for the earrings.

Viktoria said that she didn't need a necklace with her dress. We finished up our clothes shopping and drove back home.

"Thank you." Viktoria looked at me, confusing written all over her face.

"Bringing me out shopping, I never have enjoyed shopping before, but with you it was fun." She smiled.

"No problem, I feel the same way." We stayed quiet for the rest of the drive. It was a comfortable silence though. Returning home, I ran up to my room. Throwing all of my bags onto my bed. I sighed. Un wanted thoughts ran around in my head.

When he comes here, will he be alone? Will he want to come back to me? Or will he still say that his love has... I couldn't even think it, I refused to. Tears threatening to come, I yelled to myself mentally.

I will not cry! Damn get over it! That was a year or so ago! But then, can I really ever get over it. How come he can say that his love has faded, when I cant seem to get red of my love for him. Why does it have to be so difficult! I groaned. Just as Viktoria opened up my door.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I replied. She sighed. Putting her hair behind her ear, just as he would do. I slapped myself, physically.

Stop it! I thought. Or at least thought that I thought it.

"Stop what, and why did you slap yourself!"

"I don't know..." I said, sighing...again. This time I will not cry, and this time. I didn't. Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head, I plastered a smile on my face. I can do it.

"Let's go do some April fools pranks." I suggested.

"It's not even April Fools, though."

"That's the whole point!" I cheered. Viktoria looked confused.

"Oh, come on!" I said, walking past her, grabbing her hand on the way out.

I had replaced the sugar container with salt. Lame, but whatever. I had glued Sonya's shoes to the floor. Just wait until she has to go to work. I had taken all of Karolina's makeup replacing it with just rusty grays and dark browns. Viktoria well I don't know what she did. Laughing under my breath, evilly. I snuck back into my room. I put my back against the door when I closed it.

My phone beeped. I tried getting off from the door to go check my phone, but I was stuck. What the hell? I tried to wiggle free, but my body wouldn't budge. Oh, Viktoria. I will get her back, and that's a promise.

Slipping out of my shirt and pants, I was left in my black lace thong and bra. A bright flash went off in my room, blinding my eyes for a couple seconds.

When my eyes cleared I looked around to see where it had come from. My eyes popped out when I saw Viktoria standing in front of me with a camera. A freaking camera! I tried grabbing it, only for Viktoria to duck.

"Give me that freaking camera!"

"Never!" She yelled jokingly.

I growled. And she laughed just freaking laughed!

Viktoria ran passed me. I reached out to grab her, only to miss.

She runs fast. I thought about running after her, but decided not to. She'll expect that, so I settled down, and dragged myself to my bed to lay down.

I looked around the room, eyes landing on a bookshelf. His stuff was still scattered around the room. I felt my body get up and move towards the bookshelf. My arm came forward, running along the books. There were a few on the bottom shelf that had fallen over. I bent down. The books were really dusty. I picked one of them up, blowing the dust off. making me sneeze. I looked at the book to see it was one of those western novels, no wait... all of these books were western novels. What's up with him and cowboys? Pushing the thoughts about 'him' far out of my mind, I walked back to my bed. Lay down and opened the book, flipping to the first page. The pages were worn out and used. But there was a paper sticking out, taking a hold of it I slipped it out. It was a note, crumbled and old looking. I read it carefully.

'Dimitri, be cautious of who you hurt when you are older, it's not every day that you will find that one person who treasures your soul and heart, but one mistake it can vanish, leaving no trace of existence. Don't just sit back and watch.' -Yeva

Yeva knew that this was going to happen before I even came into his life. I shook my head; I was not going to cry. I had no tears left. Is he just sitting back, not caring one bit about me? Have I disappeared from his existence? Is this really what destiny has planned? Or have we messed it all up, I should have gone after him in the caves-

"Do not think about that!" I growled in a hushed voice to myself. Pushing that thought back, I placed the note back inside of the book.

'I will regret this,' I thought to myself as I started to read the western novel, but I do wanna know why he loves these books so much. After a couple of hours, I noticed the time. Shit, the clock read 11:55 P.M. I started reading at 7:30 p.m. Woah, me reading? No! what's happening to me?

I dropped the book running over to the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked the same... I started laughing softly. My stomach growled loudly. I groaned, and then one thought came into my head. Food. I threw on a tank and short shorts before running downstairs. Everyone was asleep so I tiptoed to the kitchen, why didn't anyone tell me about dinner? Skipping a meal is so not good for me! I grabbed a piece of bread and spread peanut butter across it. Scarifying four pieces down my throat. After I had my bread I poured myself a glass of milk, ingesting the white liquid down my throat, feeling the cold fluid tickling my throat. After that I raced back to my room, closed the door and starred at the book on my bed. I guess it wasn't so bad.

It was about a cowboy named John Newill who had been banned from the town. He had been banned because of the chief's daughter Jennifer Hayes, who had stolen his heart. He would do anything for her, but their relationship was forbidden. The chief was very protective over his daughter, and wouldn't allow anyone to date her unless he approved of them.

John Newill, had not been approved of the relationship, infact he told his daughter never to see him again. So they hid there relationship from everyone. John was ratted out by Jennifer's 'friend' who had caught there last stolen kiss. John and Jennifer were forced apart, never allowed to see each other again. They were both left heartbroken. John was banned from the town, and threatened that if he were to ever walk in their boundaries ever again he would be executed.

He didn't listen, he tried seeing Jennifer again, but she protected him by telling him that her love has faded, and to go and move on, because she had. John didn't believe her; she went on with the lies, trying to get him to go. She told him it was all a game, she never really liked him, she said she does this to a lot of boys, leaving them heart-broken afterwards. John finally believed the lie, walking away from Jennifer for the second time. A month later Jennifer Jennifer ran after him. She cried, telling him it was all a lie, and to forgive her. She said that she couldn't live without him and that she loved him.

Yes. I read a whole book! But this one reminded me a lot about my relationship with...him. The forbidden relationship at first, we never got caught, but he did get turned. I shuttered at that thought. Being told that his love has faded for me, but would it be to protect me? But what from? He doesn't have to say that his love has faded to protect me... but this is not a happy ending, he never came running back, begging for forgiveness. It's as clear as glass. He told me that his love has faded, and that's never going to change.

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><p><strong>What did you think? love it? hate it? like it? <strong>


	4. Not now, i'm not ready

**Thank you all for your reviews! :D **

**A/N i will be leaving on vacation on the 16-26 so i will not be updating during that time**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy**

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><p>Chapter Four 'Not now, i'm not ready'<p>

I opened my eyes, only having to snap them shut. The sun peeping it's way through my window, crawling it's way over to my bed. And piercing my eyes with it's shinning ray. It's a pain in the ass having to wake up at eight in the morning everyday like this. I wouldn't mind sleeping in for once. I groaned, climbed out of bed and dragged myself over to the bathroom. Brushed quickly through my hair and scrubbed my teeth. I got changed into a light blue tank top and dark jeans. I walked downstairs to be welcomed with the smell of bacon, eggs, and black bread. I love that stuff, who knew that bread could taste so good. I sat at the table grabbing a plate of food, stuffing the tasty black bread into my mouth. Moaning after each chew. I got myself a glass of milk, chugging the liquid down my throat. I looked around for Viktoria, not finding her.

"Where's Viktoria?" I asked Olena. She looked nervous.

"She went out of town to go get me a few things." She said with a smile. I hugged her.

"Thanks, for breakfast." She patted my back.

"Anytime."

"And, for letting me live here." I added quietly.

"Your like my own daughter, there's no need to thank me, this is your home as much as it is mine." I felt my heart warm, feeling like I belong somewhere and that I can actually call this place home.

I got a shower and then blow-dried my hair, making it fall down my back in waves. When I started walking down the stairs I heard voices, murmuring in Russian. I've learned a couple of words in the past month or so that I've been here, but I didn't know enough to make out what they were saying. It was Olena and Viktoria talking. I continued to walk down the stairs, slipping my way into the living room with a smile plastered on my face.

"Hey Viktoria, where were you this morning?"

"Oh, ya, I had to go get mom a few things and also…come with me!" She said a bit to excited. She ran past me, climbing p the stairs behind me. I followed after her. She ran into her room closing it behind me once I walked in. She slightly had the same look as Olena did, but was holding it in more. I'll just let it pass for now.

"So, what did you have to show me?" I asked.

"Well.." She said excitingly, but her smile faded as soon as it came, like she was remembering something. That faded as soon as it came. She ran over to her closet pulling something out from her coat. She was jumping up and down, and then turned around to reveal a small box.

"I received this just before I left, I don't know who it's from…but it's really beautiful." She opened up to box, a long necklace, with white gold as the chain, laced with white fire opals, trailing it's way into the middle. The chain came down, a tear drop shaped ruby hung. I gasped as I took in the details. Who ever had bought this gift for Viktoria is either rich or saved a lot of money just to get it.

"Is their a note?" she smiled slightly.

"Yah…but, doesn't say who it's from." She pulled out a tiny piece of paper that was tucked in the little box, and passed it to me.

_'I've been thinking about you since the party.'_

I felt my lips curve at the ends.

"Well…he's someone from the party."

"No, really." She said sarcastically.

Ignoring her I continued.

"Maybe, it was one of the guys that you danced with."

"Or a stalker that watches me 24/7."

"Yep that pretty much sums up what a stalker is." Viktoria and I laughed softly.

We talked for awhile after that, but I could tell that she was holding something back, not telling me something.

"Ok, spill." Viktoria looked confused and raised one of her eyebrows, like he always would…

"I know your not telling me something, spill." Shook filled her face.

"What?" I had to hold in a laugh at her response.

"We all know your not innocent Viktoria." She blushed.

"Anyways, Olena has the same look, what is it?" I asked. Suddenly dying to know what they were not telling me, and slightly annoyed.

"It's nothing." She said, trying to brush away the topic. I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get any other answer, but I have not forgotten about this. And I will bring it up later.

"Do you want to go out tonight?" She asked

"We we're just out last night."

"I know but… please, please, ple…"

"Ok, ok! Why so urgent to get out of this house?" She shrugged.

"Lived here for 18 years, it doesn't hurt to go out every once in awhile."

"Once and a while.." I said sarcastically. Viktoria glared at me.

"Do you secretly have a boyfriend?" I asked randomly.

"Ahh…no, remember, the box….necklace…secret Admirer."

"So… do you wanna go out?"

"Is Olena ok with it?" I was a bit tired but I could tell that she really wanted to go.

"Yep, she gave us money and everything, she also said that if we're later than one, we have to stay over at a hotel."

"Ok, fine." I said, agreeing to go, but where exactly?

Viktoria squealed.

"Where are we going?"

"Surprise." Is all she said. She ran back over to her closet and came back with a big bag.  
>"Open." I bit my lip, grabbed the bag and brought it up, uncovering what was underneath, a dark red dress hung. Flowing down which would probably be just above my kneecap. It was simple, no straps.<p>

"Aww… I can't take this."

"No, I got it for you." She looked serious, then her face fell. "Do you not like it?" She asked on the urge of tears.

"No! of course I do!" I shouted. "Ok, thank you, I love it!"

I pulled her into a tight huge, I could smell the grin peeping out from under her face.

"Your good…" I mumbled, then started to snicker.

"Ever thought of being an actress." I said louder.

She laughed. "Try it on."

I did, and boy was I hot. It showed all of my curves, clinging to my body in all the right places. Viktoria whistled.

"All the guys will be dragging from your feet once they see you." I felt a blush brake through my cheeks. I showed my dress off a bit more before I changed back into my normal clothes.

"Rose…"

"mhmm."

"You know you can't wear underwear with that dress, right?" I felt my jaw open slightly. I shrugged.

"As long as it looks good." Viktoria laughed.

**Before Party**

I was almost ready for where ever we were going. Viktoria had just finished with my makeup. Now going onto my hair.

I gasped when I saw myself in the mirror, she had made my eyes look smoky and my hair looked gorgeous. It was half up, half down, curls fell down the side of my face.

I slipped on my dress and we were ready to go. We jumped into a taxi. We arrived at a big house…no mansion, with lights on around the house, leading to the back.

"Come on." Viktoria said once she stepped out of the taxi, leaning through the passenger's window she handed the driver the money. I climbed out from the vehicle, following behind Viktoria as she led me around the house. When we go to the back, there was a huge pool in the middle of the huge yard with a bit hot tube beside it. I could smell the alcohol in the air, and hear bit's and pieces of other conversations. Most were talking in Russian, but a couple were speaking in English. Music was booming from the back porch. Viktoria screamed something excitingly in Russian. I turned to see Nikolia. She had wrapped her arms around him, still oblivious to the fact that he has a huge crush on her. I smiled, and walked away to let them have their privacy. I walked over to the drink table and poured myself some punch. This is a Dhampir/Moroi party so the place is warded. I shrugged grabbed the cup of alcohol and chugged it down. Only to start choking and coughing on what I just drank.

"What the hell is this!" I groaned, someone behind me spoke making me jump.

"Russian Vodka." There was a hint of an Italian accent in his voice. He had light blue eyes that you could still see perfectly in the dark, and short blonde hair, that I only caught a glimpse of in the light. He was Dhampir, and looked to be about 22 and the height of 6'2.

"Sorry, I'm Dylan Brown…Guardian Brown." He winked, and held out a hand for me to take, I did.

"Rose Hathaway." He looked shocked.

"The Rose Hathaway!"

"The one and only."

"I worship you, your…..your…." He was lost with words.

"A legend." He finally managed to say.

"Well…it's a pleasure to meet you." I said, we talked for a couple of more minutes as I chugged down more of that Russian Vodka. Starting to get past the tipsy point.

"I….hafe…to…go…use…te.. wah …rom.." I slurred. I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm.

"Do you need help?"

"I'm fine…" I said, starting to sway. I ripped my arm away from him, he tried to grab me but I jumped out of the way.

"Don't touch me." I growled. I ran away, going into the mansion. My jaw fell open as I stepped into the giant doors. How was I ever going to find the washroom?

I groaned, deciding on which way I should go, left, right, left, right… I chose right. I had to balance myself against the wall, so I wouldn't fall over. My eyes watching my feet, so I wouldn't trip. I crashed into a wall. Shit, so much for trying not to trip. I fell back, getting re6ady to feel the pain. But I didn't I was brought back onto my feet.

"Sorry…" I mumbled. It wasn't a wall that I hit into, it was a person. I didn't bother looking up. I tried to get out of his way, but only to be stopped, from him going in front of my path.

"Get…the…hell, out of ma, way."

"Not with you being this drunk." That same Russian accent, no, it couldn't be him. Not now, I'm not ready. I didn't dare look up this time.

"I need to go."

"Where?"

"To the fucking bathroom!"

"You're going the wrong way." I groaned. Not thinking clearly, I let him take me to the bathrooms. I still hadn't looked up to see his face, but I knew it was him. Longer than a year, not looking into his eyes. But he had said his love has faded. I felt his hand move under my chin. I flinched away from his touch, looking up at his face. Shit, that wasn't supposed to happen. Starring into his dark brown eyes, I ran. Having to brush past him, I made it into the bathroom. Falling over the toilet and puked my guts out. He had followed me in and raised my hair. Mumbling things in Russian. Feeling not as drunk as I was before I got up, out of his reach and rinsed my mouth with water. As I looked into his eyes, all I saw was, grief, guilt, happiness, regret, and love…. love?

"Why did you leave?" He asked. I laughed harshly.

"Why did I leave, well first you tell me your fucking love has faded, then Lissa goes against me, betraying me and goes off to go along your fucking side!" He flinched slightly. And looked down at the ground.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be coming for another three months."

"I wasn't, I just so happened to be in Russia at this party, but I wasn't going to be going to mama's until Friday…. wait who did you…" realization came to his face, his eyes darkened slightly.

"Your…." I nodded my head. I could see that he was guilty, about something.

"I guess I could just go back to court…. I mean—"

"No!" I interrupted him. He looked shocked, with hope in his eyes.  
>"I don't want to separate you from your family because of me, I would never forgive myself if I did that." He nodded his head slowly.<p>

"I'm sorry." I heard him say under his breath as he walked away. I just laid back for the rest of the party, not drinking and just waiting until it would end. So this most have been what Olena and Viktoria were not telling me, Dimitri was coming earlier.

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><p><strong>So what did you all think? hate it? like it? love it? <strong>

**What about Dimitri coming back? **


	5. A Long Night

_Chapter Five 'A Long Night'_

Once the party was emptier I decided to go on a little search for Viktoria. I found her still talking with Nikolia.

"Viktoria…." I hollered. She turned around.

"Rose! I'm right beside you!" I shrugged, still feeling slightly drunk.

"We have to go!"

"But…" She stopped talking, once she looked into my eyes, like she saw something.

"Ok—" I let her say goodbye to Nikolia, before I dragged her away. We reached her car and I got her to finally go into the passenger's seat, since I was at least a bit less drunk than her, I did say a bit. I was just about to open the car door when of course he just had to interrupt.

"Where do you think your going in your condition?"

"That is non of your freaking business." I growled as I opened up the door. He took three long steps and was standing behind me. He slammed the door shut, making me jump back slightly. Then realized I had moved closer to him and took another step forward.

"But my sister is my business." I flinched. I had nothing to say and just kept quiet, he started to laugh, and not one of those sweet laughs that I use to die for just to hear him laugh once. No it was cold and dark.

"I made 'the' Rose Hathaway silent." I flinched again, but this time from how cold his voice is now. Tears were threatening to burst threw my eyes, but I held them back, I don't care how much it hurts to keep them in, I will not cry in front of this man. I looked past him.

"Fine, you can drive her home." I said, holding my hand out to give him the keys. I moved out of the way. He got into the car and rolled down the window when I wasn't getting in the car.

"Are you going to get in?"

"No." I said as I crossed my arms. He sighed.

"Get in the car…I don't want to force you." I snickered.

"No, you can't tell me what to do Guardian Belikov, you are no longer my mentor." This time he flinched. I turned around on my heel and yelled back to him.

"I'll walk home." I heard the car door open.

"God Dimitri! Get Viktoria home! Do you not see that she's freaking passed out, get her home!" His eyes became darker.

"Alright." He closed the door, and started the car. I waited until he was half way down the street before I started to walk.

"Hey, Hathaway!" Shit. Not Italian dude.

"Hathaway!" He shouted again, I stopped in my tracks and turned around.

"What do you want?"

"Do…you need a ride?" I thought about it for a few seconds.

"No, I'll just walk."

"Common, just one ride, that would be so cool to have the privilege of driving Rosemarie Hathaway…. well of just talking to you of course…and because your so…. Bello…"

Speaking in Italian now….

"I hope that was a compliment."

"Defiantly, la mia bella Rosa."

"What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry I was talking in Italian…"

"Yes I know, I mean you said Roza."

"Yes, R-o-s-a is your name in Italian, do you mind…. well If I call you that?"

Could I really let him call me that, Dimitri used to and now he's back and… it is different though, his is spelt like R-o-s-a…

"Ya, that's not a problem." Yep, defiantly not a problem at all, but the man that I love…loved would call me that. I mentally slapped myself.

"So, do you still want to walk?"

"Are you still offering to drive me?"

"Oh ya, I would never let that offer go down the drain." My cheeks started to feel hot. Thank goodness it was dark out, or Dylan would get to see the Rose Hathaway blush.

Dylan gave me a drive back home, with little conversation going back and forth. He finally spoke up once we were at my house.

"I have wanted to ask you this question, since—well, since I first met you really." I nodded my head, encouraging him to go on.

"Well, I totally understand if it's a no and all, but do you want to go out with me." It took me a couple of seconds to get what he was saying. And it was going to be hard to tell him my answer, he was just to sweet to break his heart, but I am just not ready. I can't have another relationship so soon after—

"I'm so sorry, but, I actually just came out of a umm… and I just can't. I'm not ready and I am so sorry." He nodded his head slowly.

"It's alright, I understand." He gave me a small smile as I got out of the car.

"Thank you for the ride."

"No, thank you." I stepped back as he pressed the gas pedal and drove away. I walked into the house, making sure I wouldn't make a sound so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I threw my shoes off and made my way up the stairs. I walked up to my room and started to open my door, to find Dimitri browsing through the bookshelves.

"What are you doing in here!" Just then remembering that this was his room.

"I'm sorry, I forgot…" I said shaking my head. I turned around about to close the door when Dimitri spoke.

"Wait." I looked at him.

"I'll go sleep on the couch."

He walked past me, our arms brushed against each other and I gasped as I felt the electric shock run through me like old times…. I knew he felt it to. He didn't stop though he continued to walk down towards the living room. I slipped into my…Dimitri's room and quietly shut the door. I didn't bother changing and just lay down on my bed. I thought that as soon as I would hit the pillow I'd be out, but I guess that's just not happening tonight. I tossed and turned for about ten minutes until I finally sat up. I got out of bed and opened up the window, throwing myself out and sat on the roof. I'd sit out here at night when I couldn't get to sleep or if I wanted to think about something or just to calm down and get my mind off of things.

I wrapped my arms around my leg and put my head down.

Dylan, what am I supposed to do about him?

Just ignore him, try your hardest not to run into him or talk to him.

What about Dimitri? He's back, all of the pain that I've been working on hiding is going to come rushing back. All the crying—

It started to rain, fast and hard. I started to get up, my hair and clothes already soaked. But I slipped; I started to fall down the roof. And I screamed, I could have made myself deaf with that noise I just made. My hands dragged across the roof, as I fell, digging into anything to keep me from falling. I grabbed onto the ledge. My whole body hanging down, holding on for dear life. But if I let go, I would be gone from this world, and forget all of this pain, or I could just break my back and a couple other pains and—

I was interrupted by my thoughts when a deep Russian voice screamed out my name.

"Roza!" My hands were slipping.

"Roza, don't let go, not yet."

"I—I can't, I'm slipping…"

"Don't let go, not until I tell you to, ok."

"Okay."

After a few seconds he hollered out, "Let go now!" Can I really trust him? Especially after what he had told me, after everything we've been through, what I've been through.

"What are you doing? Let go!" I felt my hands let go; I wasn't able to hold on any longer. I fell, my mouth opened but nothing came out. I'm going to die, if I land on my neck, I'll be dead, gone from a place that never needed me. I waited for the pain, the pain of getting smacked against the cold ground, that only lasts a couple of seconds until your out. But it never came. I opened my eyes to find myself staring into a set of chocolate brown eyes. Dimitri brought me into the house and lay me against the couch, swearing in Russian when he looked at me.

"What is it?" I asked sitting up, only for him to push me back down.

He shook his head.

"One second." He disappeared for a couple of seconds returning with a first Aids kit and a wet cloth.

"Give me your hands." I did, and he started to dap at them with the cloth.

"What were you doing up their?"

"Just thinking—"

"About what?"

"Non of your business, not like you would care anyways."

Dimitri ignored me like I didn't say anything and just continued on with cleaning my hands. So much like that one time when we—

No, I couldn't think about that.

I hissed and pulled my hands away. But Dimitri caught them.

"I'm sorry, but I need to see if your hands are infected."

I let him, ignoring the pain. Always ignoring the pain, but sometimes it's to strong, sometimes, the pain is so strong it hurts both emotionally and physically, day after day having to live through it. No matter how much someone tries to cheer you up, you still feel the pain. One that will never go away, it will always be there, hiding at the back, not visible for anyone else to see but yourself.

That's how I feel, everyone thinks I'm cooping, that I'm perfectly fine. But the truth is, I'm at the very edge, ready to break.

I felt something tap me; I looked up to see that Dimitri had just finished with my hands. They were all bandaged up and everything.

"I should get to bed now…" I said, sitting up.

"Wait…can we talk?"

I can't do this.

"It's late…" Dimitri nodded his head.

"Goodnight."

"Night." I went back to my room. Finally able to fall asleep, I passed out as soon as I sat my ass down.

Waking up the next morning was dreadful! My head was pounding, I'm sure I didn't drink that much, but maybe falling off a roof may increase that. I groaned as I climbed out of bed. I dragged myself towards the bathroom. I couldn't even notice myself in the mirror; my skin was pale, maybe even paler than Moroi. My hair was a mess, thrown all over the place. There was an awful taste in my mouth and my eyes were bloodshot and my face tear stained, when was I crying?

I splashed my face with water and rinsed my mouth.

Another day to live, full of pain and sorrow, and worst of all Dimitri Belikov is in the house.


	6. Tiny Steps at a time

**Thank you all for your reviews! For the first time i saw New York City on Friday! :D ahah **

**call me crazy, yes i know first time. But i don't go on Vacation so often, **

**This was for you! So please be kind and reward me with some reviews :D **

**All day today I spent writing this chapter, since it was just a stay**

**back at the hotel day. Anyways on with the Story.**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy...**

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><p>Chapter Six 'Tiny Steps At A Time'<p>

Stupid hangovers, that's the only bad thing about drinking. You get high, forget about everything and the pain… then you wake up. I wonder how Viktoria is with her hangover….

With my hands massaging my temples, I open my bedroom door to find a big Russian standing with his fist in the air. I brought my hands to my hips.

"What do you want?" I asked a bit to harsh than I had planned, or maybe just not enough.

"I—I"

"You just wanted to say, last night didn't mean anything, I just wanted to make it clear so you wouldn't get any ideas, because my love for you has faded… yah, yah. I've heard it all before, no need to hear it again… and I don't feel anything for you." Complete lie. "I get it. I've moved on as well." Sorta.

"That's not what I—"

"You know what, I have a fucking headache and all your blabbing is making it worse." I snapped. Dimitri nodded his head sadly and lowered it. He turned on his heel and walked away.

I'm being a-bit mean, yes. But I didn't need to hear him tell me that shit over again, I'd break. But is that really what he was going to say? What if he was going to say the complete opposite to what I had yelled at him?

But if he came begging back for me would I even consider saying yes?

Run back into his warm arms, the feeling that you get when you're with someone you trust and nothing will ever happen to you.

No, he's already hurt me enough, I don't want that happening ever again, and all the trust I ever had with him before has vanished.

I closed my eyes, shook all of those thoughts to the back of my head and took a deep breath. Opened my eyes slowly and took a small step out from my-his bedroom. I forgot all about my headache, with that little fuss in my head. But it came slamming back into me, pounding in my head. It felt like tiny needles were being pressed into my skull and every breath I took they dug deeper. It hurt to breath, and not just from my headache.

I made it down the stairs and in the kitchen. Not knowing how much longer I would be able to stand, with my jello legs.

"Oh, Rose, take this." I heard someone from behind me say. I slowly turned over to see Olena holding a mug. I took the mug from her to find a substance that looked like… tea?

Olena noticed my confusion.

"It helps with hangovers, I noticed Viktoria groaning in pain. It's a special herbal tea that really helps in seconds."

"Thank you." I managed to say.

"No need." She said with a smile. I took a seat and sipped my tea. I hadn't noticed that Dimitri was in the room. He kept quiet, with his head held low. I minded my own business, drinking my tea, not making any attempt to talk with him.

Olena had left the room, leaving Dimitri and I alone. I sat there, changing positions awkwardly. Failing at trying to get comfortable, I gave up. Sighing, I finished my tea and got up. I rinsed my mug in the sink and placed it on the counter. I turned on my heel and was about to leave when Dimitri talked.

"Rose…"

"What?" I snapped. We already went through this.

"Never mind." He mumbled. What a waste of my time. I walked out of the kitchen and made my way outside. My headache was completely gone. Thank God.

I pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail. Set my timer off and started my morning run. My record for running around the block was 2.53.03. I've been getting better each day. Don't judge me, the block is huge! The roads go on forever. I was halfway around the block when my stomach turned. I stopped dead in my tracks, pulled out my steak and swept the area. I slowly took a couple of steps, spinning around slowly. A rush of cold air blew from behind me. I spun around to find nothing but empty air. There it was again, I spun around. Nothing, again. It repeated rapidly, over and over again.

"Ok, I've had enough with this shit! Show yourself!"

"As you wish, my princessss." A deep voice hissed. A tall man, probably 6'2 showed up in front of me. His hair in a ball of brown curls, eyes blood red. He licked his lips.

"I've been wanting to snack off the legendary Rosemarie Hathaway. And now today is my chance." Something flashed across his eyes.

"I thought Strigoi couldn't go out during the day." I stated with my arms folded over my chest. I know stupid, but hey, I need to distract him as long as I can before he attacks me.

The Strigoi smirked.

"Well, my dear. As you can see it is a perfect and wonderful cloudy day, just how I like it. It's almost as dark as it is at three in the morning."

"Do you really think you can kill me?" I asked and started bursting out laughing.

"Yes, my dear, I've been training even harder than usual Strigoi. You would be helpful on our half, or maybe just helpful if you were dead since you turned Belikov back. Oh, and so rude of me to forget, how are you both? You must be so happy together, am i right?" My mood went straight down, that bitch!

"Oh, right! Last I heard he told you his love has faded." The Strigoi was circling around me now.

"How are you dealing with that?"

"Are you really so strong as you used to be?"

I snapped. "Of course I am!" I threw my fist back, wanting to beat the shit outta him.

"Knotty knotty girl." He said shaking his head. In a flash he had my arm held tightly in his hand. He started to twist my arm around, making it twist further than it should. I bit my lip sucking in the pain.

"Don't mess with me little girl." He growled. I heard a snap, and gasped. He dropped my arm making it fall back down to my side. It dangled loosely. He fucking broke my arm! I started to get really pissed off.

"You…"

"Do you really want to go that far?" I backed off. "Didn't think so missy, I'll see you soon, my darling." With that he left. My left arm found it's way to my broken right. And that's my dominant arm that bitch, he is soooo going to pay for what he did. I made my way back home. Turning off the timer. 12.37.06.

"This is the longest run you've taken—" I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, literally. Viktoria stepped back quickly.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you more! What happened?"

"Strigoi." She swore in Russian. She put her hand on my back and pushed me towards the house.

"Let's get a cast on that." Once I got into the house I was crowed with hugs and worried expressions and you get the point.

"What happened?" Olena asked.

"Strigoi." I repeated again. Olena shooed everyone away and brought me into the kitchen. She brought out her first Aid's kit and started up with my arm.

"This is going to hurt." She said. I nodded my head.

"Are you ready?" Before I could answer she snap my arm back. I cried out in pain, or more like screamed out in pain.

She wrapped it in the wrapping stuff; I have no idea what it's called… I think it's called a sling or something like that. Then patted my back.

"You're all done."

"Thank you Olena!" I said, wrapping my left arm around her body.

"No problem. Now no more getting into so much trouble, maybe you should go on your jogs with someone from now on."

"I'm fine, I just—" She gave me a look that said Stop-talking-I-don't-feel-like-arguing-right-now. I sighed. Planted a kiss to Olena's cheek and left. I was about to get up the stairs when I felt a tug on my shirt. I looked down to see Paul. I ruffled his hair.

"Hey cutie." He let out a soft giggle, that just warmed my heart every time I heard it, so much like—

"I heard you broke your arm, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I said with a small smile. I bent down and kissed his cheek.

"I'm going to go rest now, alright?" He bobbed his head up and down.

"Alright Auntie Rosie," I giggled. "I saw Uncle Dimka cry… I've never seen Uncle Dimka cry before." I stopped breathing.

"is—is he alright?" I asked, choking on my words.

"I don't know."

"Where is he?"

"In his room." I nodded my head. Of course, I shouldn't have taken his room away from him. I took Paul's hand and rubbed it.

"I'll be right back, ok sweetheart?" He nodded his head.

I dropped his hand and stood up straight. I walked up the stairs, taking slow steps towards my bedroom. Once I got in front of the door I closed my eyes. Just relax, knock on the door slightly wait for him to open it and see if he's ok. That's all I need to do. That's not too hard. I gently knocked on the door. But as soon as my hand hit the wood, I started to shake with panic. Shit. Shit. Shit. I shouldn't have knocked, he's fine. Sure he cried everyone cries once in a while. But not Dimitri…. No it was probably just a few silent tears, from allergies or yawning. '_I saw Uncle Dimka cry… I've never seen Uncle Dimka cry before.'_

Those words haunted me. I don't know why. It's just one of those feelings that you have and you have no idea why your feeling that way.

I heard someone groan from the other side of the wall.

"Who is it?" I opened my mouth but nothing came out, it was stuck at the back of my throat. I tried again but still nothing.

"Who is it!" He growled. I flinched. Backed up a little. And was about to leave when the door opened. His face was filled with anger, pain, and sadness. But as soon as he saw me it changed to Regret, guilt, pain, sadness, longing, and was that love? Who knew you could have so many emotions at once.

"I just wanted to say—" what did I want to say? Dimitri's eyes left mine and traveled down my body resting on my arm. His eyes flickered back to mine asking me what had happened.

"I was going on my morning walk like usual, and a Strigoi appeared. He said he had been training to kill me, that he was stronger than usual Strigoi. He twisted my arm when I tried to punch him. And, this—" I said, pointing to my right arm, that was hanging across my chest by the sling.

"You shouldn't go out alone." Was all he said.

"That's the same thing Olena said." I mumbled.

"And she's right." I rolled my eyes.

"I can take care of myself, I have been for the past year and a half, ha, probably even longer than that." Dimitri flinched and looked away.

"I'm sorry." I heard him say under his breath, probably not meant for me to hear. I walked a bit closer to him, I saw him stiffen. But I walked around him grabbing my bag. I opened it up throwing it onto the bed. I went over to the dresser and took everything out throwing it into my bag, as well as anything else i that belonged to me.

"Wait, what are you doing? Don't go, I can't take—"

I cut him off.

"I'm not going, I'll just move into Viktoria's room she probably wouldn't mine sharing with me, you can have your room back."

"I—I…. Thank you."

"Mhmm…" I got all of my stuff together and walked back into the hall.

"Bye Rose."

"Goodbye Guardian Belikov." I didn't care to see his expression, I heard enough. He sucked in some air and let it all out in a shaky breath. Don't tell me he's going to cry again, he's not like this; this is not the Dimitri I know. I sighed, brought my stuff into Viktoria's room, dropped it all onto the floor and collapsed on the bed. Exhausted I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I answered it to hear Alberta on the other line.

"Hello Rose?"

"Alberta, what's wrong?"

"There's been an attack at Court."

"What?' I choked. 'Is everyone all right?"

I heard a sniffle.

"No. I have some bad news, and your not going to handle this well."

"Go on."

'Dimitri was killed in the attack.' My heart stopped beating. Or at least it felt like it did. It felt like I was being stabbed a thousand times in the heart. But he was here, two rooms down from me.

"But, he was just here…."

"He heard about the attack, and flew down here to fight, Queen Vasilisa, she is in the hospital, I don't know how long she will hold on for though."

"What about Adrian, is he alright?"

"Rose, did no one tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I started to worry, I was soaking my clothes with the sweat attack that I was having.

"He died about a eight months ago, he was out one night with his Fiancée, they ran into a pack of Strigoi…" I let out a sob. It raked through me, making my whole body shake. Alberta didn't say anything else until I was just hiccupping.

"Eddie, is he alright, he has to be alright." I pleaded. I could just see her shaking her head.

"He's in the hospital right now as well, not doing so well. I am so sorry Rose, you shouldn't have left, you caused this, and everyone is dead because of you. The attack at court, you should have fought off Deangelo, killed him, He wouldn't have gotten to us if you hadn't let him break your arm." Who's Deangelo? It came to me. He's the one, the one that I had seen on my jog. No, I started shaking my head. I dropped my phone and clutched my head.

"No!" I screamed.

"They can't be dead! No!" I started to scream and thrash my arms around, throwing anything in sight.

"Dimitri, he can't be dead, Adrian, Lissa, Eddie. All because of me!" I sobbed.

"Rose."

"It's all my fault, there all dead—"

"Rose." I screamed again.

"Roza! Wake up!" I was being shook. I opened my eyes to big worried chocolate brown ones.

"It was just a dream." I started to cry.

"Sshh." Dimitri brought me against his chest and cradled me, murmuring soothing things to me in Russian.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head.

"Do you want me to get you a drink?" He asked, starting to pull away. I grasped onto him tighter, pulling him to me.

"Don't leave me."

"Never again." Dimitri started to sing to me in Russian.

"Go to sleep." He whispered. Just take tiny steps at a time, you'll make it through, one thing at a time. I told my self. I closed my eyes and started to drift off. He said something that I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear.

"I love you, and I've never stopped loving you." Those were the last words I heard before darkness swallowed me up.

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	7. Do you love Uncle Dimka?

**woah 5000+ words, longest chapter ever! **

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><p>Chapter Seven 'Do You Still Love Uncle Dimka?'<p>

I woke up to a heavy weight crushing me. I tried to roll over, but it was impossible. My arms were trapped underneath something strong, not letting me move. I started to wriggle against it, quickly becoming claustrophobic as to not knowing what wasn't letting me move.

"Where are you going?" Someone slurred, and not just anybody. Dimitri. I jumped, or tried to. If he wasn't holding onto me as tight as he was, I would have jumped 10 feet in the air.

"What am I- you doing here?" I whispered loudly. Trying to get out of his hold, but he wasn't going to allow that.

"You were screaming." It all came rushing back to me. The dream. I stopped struggling and dropped down next to his body. He told me he loved me last night, ok well, he thought I was asleep. But can I really believe him; he was so serious when he told me his love had faded. He regretted everything.

"Let go of me!" I growled. He quickly untangled his arms around me and sat up.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" I knew what he was talking about.

"No." I'm not going to let him in that easily. He's lost my trust.

"Once you want to talk about it... then you are welcome to come to me anytime." In your dreams Russian.

"Umm..." I felt like yelling at him, telling him that'd never happen, but I didn't feel like arguing right now. "Thank you." He nodded his head, turned on his heel and left.

Why did he have to come here and ruin everything? I know I'm being selfish and all, since this is his family... but my live was perfectly fine, until he had to come and show his face, early as well. Why isn't he with Queen Vasilisa, I thought he'd be one of her higher ranked guardians, since they got pretty close. Thinking about Lissa, how is she doing? I know our friendship isn't the best, and as much as I wish I didn't care, I do.

I closed my eyes and started to try and find the bond. I haven't done this in over a year. I concentrated on trying to pull myself into her head. Nothing. I tried a couple more times, still nothing. I groaned in frustration.

"Dammit!" I yelled. "Why can't I get into her freaking head!"

'Maybe because you've waited to long' a voice whispered to me in my head. I ignored it. The bond couldn't be gone; it's just not as noticeable as it used to be. I'll just have to start practicing to get myself back into her head.

I started to bring my right up to my face to get the hair that had fallen off to the side, only to find that I couldn't. I looked down to see my arm in a sling.

"Shot!" I muttered. I sat up and dragged myself to my door. I went downstairs and found Olena in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Olenaaa-" I whined.

"Yes, Rose," I pointed to my broken arm with my left.

"I can not go on with this," I groaned.

"I'm sure you can, plenty of people brake their arms," Olena told me.

"Yah, but do they have to fight Strigoi?" I asked.

"Some of them," She said, I gave a loud groan.

" I'll die with this," I said.

"You won't die," She exclaimed, I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm outta here," I said, turning around on my heel, Olena rolled her eyes.

"Rose. Sit down," Olena commanded. I stood there just starring at her.

"Now," She demanded I sat down.

"Oksana and Mark are coming over today, I'll see if she will be willing to heal your arm," Olena explained, I beamed

"Thank you!" I squealed wrapping both my arms around her neck. I winced in pain as I moved my right arm.

"Careful," Olena indicated, I narrowed my eyes at her, again.

"Could you say that any later?" I asked sarcasticly, Olena smiled, patted my back and placed a plate of food in front of me.

"Eat." She didn't have to tell me twice. I dug in. After breakfast, I thanked Olena and changed for my morning jog. I got to the front door, when of course he just had to interrupt.

"Want me to come with you?"

"No," I snapped. Dimitri flinched. Then shrugged.

"Oh, well. I am," He told me with another shrug.

"I want to go alone," I growled at him.

"And I want to go on a jog, so either move your little arse down the road and start running with me, or move your arse out of the way." My mouth dropped open. What the hell was that, I've never heard him talk like this before.

"Ha. Made the Rose Hathaway speechless, so are you coming or not." His voice was cold, and his eyes were dark. It reminded me of when he was Strigoi... I shook off those thoughts. But every time I looked at him, or he opened his mouth, those images would pop into my head. His teeth sinking into my neck, taking chunks of that hot red liquid. I couldn't think straight... he would of...would of...turned... me...

"Roza?" I snapped out of it. I looked in his eyes to find them soft and loving, instead of that icy cold a couple seconds ago.

"Yah?"

"Are you ok?"

"I...ah...I'm fine," Dimitri didn't look convinced but let it go.

"Be safe," I was confused, until I noticed him turning around and running up the stairs, three at a time. He was gone in less than a second. I stepped out and started to jog. It was a bit awkward since one of my arms was in front of my chest the entire time, bobbing up and down. I got home with no distractions of any Strigoi this time. Thank God. Literally. I sent a silent prayer. Through the past year, I've given God a chance. As long as he still lets me sleep in on Sundays.

I went into my room threw my clothes off and went into the connected bathroom. I let the water run for a while before stepping in. As soon as the water hit contact with me, I hissed.

I finished up my shower and stepped out. Shot. I forgot my clothes in my bedroom. I wrapped the towel under my armpits tightly. Opened up the door, slowly, glancing around the room quickly to see if any one was in their. No one was. I ran in, dropped my towel and pulled out black lace panties and a matching bra. Threw on a blue v-neck and short shorts.

The door started to squeak. I turned around to see Viktoria walking in.

"What are you doing in here?"

"This is my room to, ya know."

"oh... right..." Viktoria smirked.

"You can sleep on the ground tonight, since you and Dimitri hogged my bed last night." My eyes widened. Shot, she thinks we did something.

"No, it's defiantly not what you..."

"I'm sure it is..."

"No! Just listen." Viktoria looked taken back, but nodded her head.

"I had a...bad dream last night, and Dimitri came in, I guess... I just didn't want to be alone, I just felt-safer."

"Nope, non of that sounds at all like you two have something going on." I rolled me eyes. We did once, but that was until... well you know. She still doesn't know what he told me, none of them do, and I'm not going to tell them. I will not let them hate Dimitri because of me. I still... care for him. I wish I didn't, I really, really wish I could just push those feelings away and replace them with hate. And just forget about everything we did. I gave my virginity to him, one of the precious moments of my life. And he left me.

"Rose?"

"Huh?" Viktoria rolled her eyes.

"I'm just going to go downstairs now."

"Ok." I heard the door open and close. I was lying down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. The door opened and closed again.

"Forget something?" I mocked. Expecting it to be Viktoria but it wasn't.

"Auntie Rosie?"

"Yes, Paul."

"Do you love Uncle Dimka?" I was taken back, shocked.

"Why are you asking this sweetheart?"

"Auntie Vika said so." I growled.

"Don't listen to Viktoria, she was just joking." He bobbed his head up and down, how adorable.

He forgot all about the question and went skipping out of my room.

I closed my eyes, and tried to go to sleep. But failed miserably.

Why was Dimitri crying before I came home? I've never seen him cry, but then again I haven't seen him for over a year. He could have turned into a softy for all I know, but this morning sure didn't seem like it.

I tried once again to try and fall asleep. I was in the half asleep half awake state, when my door opened.

"Get out!" I growled at the ceiling. "I'm trying to sleep." And then started to whimper, all I want is to have ten minutes of peace and quiet.

"That's all I ask for." I whispered. Before closing my eyes again. I felt the bed dip lower. I reached my hand over to feel what had gotten on my bed. My fingers traveled through something hard like rock, a wall maybe? No, that's not right. I moved my hand a little to the right and felt something big and muscular. I couldn't reach any further, how tall is this thing! I opened my eyes into slits. And snapped them shut, brought my hand to my side and stopped breathing.

"I thought I said to go." I said, barely even a whisper.

"To the ceiling?" He asked, amused. I groaned and moved onto my side.

"It's 11 in the morning," He adviced.

"Sooooo?" I asked.

"You should be running around awake, training, doing something other then laying in your bed sleeping," He exclaimed.

"First of all, why do you give a shit? And second of all, I'm not asleep," I stated, clearly.

"But you are lying in your bed," Dimitri nagged on.

"Shut up." I wanted so badly to ask that one question, but I don't know if I should... oh well, I'm going to anyways.

"Why were you crying yesterday?" I asked, quietly.

"Huh?" He sounded confused.

"Paul said he saw you crying." I told him, I heard him suck in a deep breath.

"Oh..." Dimitri stopped to think. "I was having allergies."

"Yah, sure..."

"There's no reason."

"But you don't cry."

"I'm not a perfect god like you'd always call me! I'm as much as human as any other human, I make mistakes, I cry, and I lie! Stop looking up to me as if I can do anything! Because Rose, I can't!" There was a lump in my throat, it took awhile to get I down, but I managed. And as soon as I did, I blew.

"I use to, USE TO to look up at you! But not now, not after telling me to my face that you never loved me. All you used me for was for sex, that's all what guys want; it's all about getting into a girls pants and using them. God I can't believe that I thought that you were any different! But no, not anymore Dimitri. I know that you're not perfect, not even close!" I yelled, full of anger. I saw tears forming in Dimitri's eyes and heard gasps from behind me. I looked around to see Viktoria, Olena, and Sonya.

"Is that true Dimitri?" Viktoria asked. I looked back at Dimitri. I felt so bad, why did I have to yell that out, I shouldn't have, I just ruined it, ruined everything. Dimitri's head was held low, he slowly nodded his head. Olena stomped into the room and smacked Dimitri across his face. Two other slaps came from Viktoria and Sonya.

"This is not how I raised you, son." Olena growled. "Out."

"No, wait!" I tried to say, but my voice wasn't working.

Dimitri stood up, about to walk past his mother when I stood and walked in front of him.

"Wait!" I tried to shout, this time it came out as a whisper.

Olena looked over at me.

"That wasn't the whole story, please don't make him leave, that isn't what happened."

"I'm sure I heard enough."

"No!" I was able to shout. "Just let me explain." Olena sighed, and finally agreed. I got into my story.

Telling her about, the cabin, the Strigoi attack, when I found out that Dimitri wasn't in the caves, when I left court to go search for him, leading to staying over here, why I left, telling a Strigoi to remember my name and tell Dimitri it, finding Dimitri... or Dimitri finding me, getting locked up... (leaving out about me being his personal blood whore), escaping, thinking that I had killed him on the bridge, going back home, receiving the threat note and my stake, finding Viktor and Robert and got them to tell us how to turn a Strigoi back to either a Moroi or Dhampir, Lissa staking Dimitri with Spirit injected in it, and up to where he told me that his love had faded.

"Rose... You left out one part." Dimitri said, Everyone's eyes were now on Dimitri. He sucked in a breath and let it all out.

"While I was Strigoi, I kept Rose as my own blood whore, everyday I'd feed from her at least once, or twice." He closed his eyes tightly, as if he were in pain. "I-I told her that she had two days to come up with a decision on either me killing her." He winced while saying that. "Or turning her Strigoi. She started asking me questions about being a Strigoi, convincing me that she really wanted to turn, it worked, and she stabbed me with a chair leg, stunning me for only five minutes. And that's about it... I did horrible things to her, things that I shouldn't have done." He said shaking his head. "Things that I can never forgive myself for." He looked at me. "Things that you should never forgive me for."

I shook my head. "I already forgave you, a long while ago. It wasn't you, your soul was lost. Ask yourself one question, would you have done that if you were in control?"

"Hell no!" He said automatically. I hadn't realized, but everyone was out of the room, just leaving both Dimitri and I alone.

"I'm sorry..." He said quietly.

"For what?" I asked.

"For everything... I shouldn't have lied to you." He whispered, looking down at his hands.

"Lied to me about what?" Silence.

"Dimitri?" Silence. I slapped Dimitri across the face. Hard.

He cursed in Russian.

"What was that for!"

"For ignoring me. Now, what did you lie to me about?" Dimitri looked me in the eye. He shook his head. Still not answering.

"Did you mean it?" Dimitri looked confused.

"Last night..." Realization crossed his face.

"You were awake?"

I nodded my head. He closed his eyes tightly. I saw a tear fall down his cheek. I brought my hand towards his face, not realizing what I was doing until I whipped his tear away, Dimitri's eyes snapped open. I quickly brought my hand back.

"Sorry." I mumbled. He shook his head, and grabbed my hand in his.

"It's so hard." He broke. Tears started to fall freely from his eyes; a sob racked threw his body. I didn't know what to do. The least I could do was at least comfort him. I took him into my arms and started to rub circles in his back. After about an hour he was fast asleep, his head was lying down on my lap, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. No one came into Viktoria and my room, they gave us our space. I was playing with Dimitri's hair, stroking my fingers through the silky and soft brown hair. I continued with that for who knows how long? His eyes started to flutter open. I didn't bother to stop playing with his hair. A smile spread across his gorgeous face.

"Good afternoon, sleeping beauty, and I thought you said you shouldn't be sleeping after 11 in the morning?" He chuckled, softly.

"No, I only said that you shouldn't be." I slapped his arm playfully.

"How long was I asleep for?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know." He chuckled again.

"Of course you don't." I think he just noticed the position that he was in. He smirked. I rolled my eyes. He sat up and stretched his back. My stomach let out a loud growl. I groaned, not now!

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Dinner." Dimitri's face showed pure shook. He looked past my shoulders. I looked behind me to find nothing there.

"What?"

"Do you not realize what time it is?"

"No..."

"It's almost 5p.m and you haven't eaten, anything?"

"I had dinner last night..."

"Let's go get you something to eat." I jumped up quickly.

"Yah, food!" Dimitri shook his head. We were walking down the stairs when I saw Oksana, Olena and mark in the living room.

"Rose." Olena called.

"Mhmm." I popped my head into the room.

"Want Oksana to heal your arm now, or do you want to-"

"YES!" Oksana started to giggle.

"Come here honey." I gladly did. I sat down next to her and she placed her hand over my broken arm. I felt the magic go through me, it felt so right, and... awesome. There are really no words to describe how it feels. She dropped her hand to her side, exhausted.

"Thank you so much, like you have no idea how thankful I am-" my loud stomach had to interrupt me with its rumbles again.

"My pleasure, now go along and go get yourself some food, when was the last time you ate, I've never heard your stomach growl that loud before!" I walked off with Dimitri into the kitchen.

"Do you think you could make me something, since I'm not really the best with cooking, last time I checked."

"I don't know... you have a newly fixed arm that is craving to start moving again, maybe you can help me out with a few things." My jaw fell open.

"Do you want me to burn down your house?"

"I'm sure that wont happen, you just going to put in two pieces of toast."

"And how long have you known me for, I can't even make a piece of toast!"

"Just try." I groaned threw two pieces of toast into the toaster and pushed the button down. I sat down at the kitchen table, starring at the yellow wall infront of me. I found myself starting to daydream about how things would have been dfferent if the strigoi attack hadn't happen the night of the cabin...

"Rose!"

"Yah?"

"The toast!" I sniffed the air. Yep I burned it. I quickly got off my chair and ran towards the toaster, un-popped it and picked the toast up ending up throwing them on the ground because of how hot they were.

"Shit. I burnt my hand." I hissed.

"And you burnt my toast."

"Oh well, at least you can replace them. Oh, and see I can't even make a piece of toast."

"Your gonna continue on making toast until you get it perfect. Or no food for you."

"Dimitriiiii." I whined.

"Rozaaaaa" He said in the same tone. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Now, the sooner you start making toast the sooner you can eat." He smirked. I growled.

After about ten more tries I finally got it.

"How's this?"

"Ugh, who'd want to eat that?" I frowned.

"It was the best one so far, look at it! It's perfectly crisped. And not black!"

"I know, I'm just teasing."

"Sit." I sat down at the table. I put my head back into my hands, as Dimitri started to cook up some dinner. The smell of chicken filled the air, making my stomach growl more violently.

"Dimitri, when is the food gonna be ready?"

"In a couple of minutes." I groaned.

"I'm soooo hungry, I can't believe I missed a meal!" The couple of minutes passed, which seemed like hours. A big plate full of, mashed potatoes, chicken, peas and corn, black bread, and a piece of toast was in front of me.

"Oh, thank God! It smells sooo good!" I starred at the food, my mouth watering. I took a big bite out of the chicken and mashed potatoes. I moaned.

"Mmm, this is so good!"

"I'm glad you think so." Dimitri said. I rolled my eyes at him. I took a chunk out of the black bread. And moaned even louder.

"Olena sure knows how to make black bread."

"Actually." I looked up to see Dimitri with a grin. "I made that." I started to choke on my food. Dimitri came over and patted my back.

"You ok?"

"Ya, I think so." I took a swig of water and gulped it down. I finished my plate, and rinsed it out.

"Do you want to spar?" Dimitri asked me.

"Umm...sure. Just one second." I quickly ran upstairs, changed into jogging pants and a sports bra, ran back downstairs and met Dimitri outside.

I crouched down in front of him, getting into my position.

"Ready... go." I stayed still, waiting for Dimitri to hit first. Realizing he was doing the same thing, I kicked my leg out. Aiming for his hip. He caught my leg, making me stumble. I got my balance, and just in time blocked a hit that was aiming for my right shoulder. I fake threw a punch to his face with my right hand, but really hit him in the stomach with my left. He didn't even move an inch. Dimitri made a move to kick me under. But I jumped just in time, before he could touch me. As I did that he landed a punch to my left hip, making crouch over. I groaned in pain, but quickly got over it. Throwing my left fist into his face.

I hit his left cheek. The same cheek everyone slapped him today. Shit. That's got to hurt. When his cheek came back into view, I got a quick look at it. Yep, he had a mark. But doing so, that's all the time that Dimitri needed, he kicked me under, making me fall to the ground. He pinned me, his whole body lying on top of me. It was hard to breath. He brought his lips to my ear.

"Roza, I thought I trained you harder then this." He shook his head, ashamed. "Your going to have to start training again, you don't want all of those sessions go to waste, now do we?" I shivered, and not because it was cold outside. Because a beyond sexy Russian was lying on top of me, with his lips right next to my ear. Breathing onto my neck. Snap out of it! He still never answered you if what he said was really true.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?" he asked, confused. I wrapped my leg around his torso, and rolled him over. So I was the one on top of him.

"Did you really believe I was going to let you win?" I said with a smirk. I placed my hand over his heart. Proclaiming that he was dead. Our faces were only inches apart, if one of us were to just move our head forward, our lips would touch-

I jumped off of him. Trying to push that thought out of my head.

"Is that really what you were going to say?"

"Yes. What else would I have said?"

"It's just-"

"Aww, did you like that position? Sorry to burst your bubble, but I despised it!" I saw hurt flash through his eyes. I turned on my heel and walked away. I ran up the stairs and into my room slamming the door behind me.

What happened out there? I thought we were starting to have a good relationship again, but I just had to ruin it didn't I. I mentally slapped myself. What got over me, it felt like, like... something from a long time ago, it felt so familiar. I gasped. Darkness.

I tried to get into Lissa's head. Actually working this time.

"Lissa stop it!" Christian yelled at me-Lissa. She was concentrating on trying to get into, my head?

"I have to, I feel so bad, I know it was over a year ago, but I shouldn't have, I haven't heard anything from her. What if she's dead?" Lissa was using so much magic, it would drive her crazy... but not if I take it from her. I slowly took the darkness from her, bit's after bits. Lissa gasped.

"She's taking my darkness." Christian gasped as well.

"No! Rose, there's to much, you won't be able to handle it, just take a small amount." Some how Lissa had been hiding it, some how controlling it. But once that bubble brakes. All hell will let lose. I have to get red of that, before she gets anybody killed. And she can do that, she's queen.

"Rose! Stop!" I felt her trying to build up her walls, but it was weak, she hasn't needed to do that for a while. I finally stopped.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Rose, please, come back, I'm so sorry." She started to sob against Christian.

I got out of Lissa's head. I was shaking, violently, and uncontrollable. How much did I take? I don't know, but I know that it was a lot. Before I could cause any damage I ran. I ran out of the house and into the forest. I started to pound my fist against the tree. Punch after punch after punch. I let all of my anger out. I wanted to kill somebody, anybody, anything. I saw a bird, chirping a couple feet away. I laughed evilly.

I slowly walked towards the bird, planning every little torture that I'd do to it. First I'd pick it's little feathers out of it's tiny body, until there's nothing left. Then I'd find a sharp stone, cutting every visible part of the body. Then-

"Rose!" I turned around to find Dimitri running towards me.

"Get away."

"Rose." I snatched the bird off of the ground.

"Rose, put the bird down." I shook my head.

"No, it deserves to die, you all deserve to die." I growled.

"Roza, this isn't you." He slowly walked towards me, holding his hands up in a surrender position.

"No, this is me, I'm always this monster, it's just hidden until a little bit of darkness gets to me!" Dimitri jumped at me.

"Let go of the bird."

"NO!" I snapped at him.

"Ok, fine." Dimitri pinned me to the ground, and held both of my hands above my head, one hand were holding my wrists together above my head, and the other was trying to open up my hand. Dimitri swore in Russian as he saw my hands.

"What did you do to them?" He hissed. I tried wiggling out from under Dimitri, but he had his full body weight laid on top of me. So familiar from that one time... that just made me more pissed.

"You asshole! Don't you just come rape me, and then run off, like nothing ever happened!" Dimitri flinched when I said he raped me.

"Don't you even think about saying that I raped you, I would never do that." His voice cracked.

"Yah, but it sure feels like it, I can't believe I gave you my virginity!" I hadn't noticed, but he could the bird out from my hands. Oh well, it's probably dead from my death grip on it. I wanted to punch Dimitri in the face, kick him until he's bleeding to death. I tried to get out of his grip, but finally gave up. Knowing I wouldn't be going anywhere.

"Listen, Roza. This isn't you, fight it, I know that you can fight it." I did. I fought past the darkness. Collapsing, or at least it felt like I did. I felt a sob start to come, but I tried to hold it in.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I cried.

"It wasn't you," Dimitri told me softly.

"But I still said that, and it was really harsh,"

"Do you really think that?" My eyes widened.

"Hell no, no. Of course I don't think you raped me, I had a choice... when you get raped, you don't get a choice, they torture you...oh my god, is that bird ok?" Dimitri looked down. I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

"I can't believe I killed a cute little innocent bird." I looked back at Dimitri; I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have... it's not your fault." I totally forgot about Dimitri, here he killed hundreds of innocent people, when he wasn't himself. I'm defiantly not helping.

"Dimitri, you didn't have a soul at the time, and I do when I have darkness. And let's face it, I'm probably going to end up like shadow-kissed Anna did." I said with a shrug. Dimitri glared at me.

"Don't say that, and act like it's nothing." I flinched from his tone of voice.

"Dimitri, I'm not always going to have you here to stop me, just a couple seconds ago, I wanted to rip that poor birds head off, and anything else that I could have gotten my hands on, even you. Soon I won't be able to handle it all, you won't be here, and I'll kill myself. That's the end of the story." I was looked anywhere but at Dimitri. He lifted my face up with his hand for me to look at him.

"And listen to me Rose. I'm not going to leave you, I'm not going to make the same mistake twice, mistakes happen, and god did I make a huge one about a year or so ago. I should have never said that to you, I regret that. I never regretted anything that we ever had in the past. I just never thought that you would be able to forgive me, not after everything that I had done to you. I didn't deserve you and I still don't. Rose, you are one of the strongest people that I know, and that's one thing that I love about you."

My heart warmed when he said love...

"You. Will. Not. End. Up. Like. Anna." He said slowly. "It hurt so much when I found out you were gone, I didn't sleep, eat, drink, or even go outside after I realized you left because of me-Wait! Let me finish." He said stopping me from interrupting him.

"I cried myself to sleep every night, thinking 'how stupid I was to tell you that my love had faded' I lost everything I ever wanted and more. I did look for you, I left court after a month when I heard that you were gone, I waited for you to come back, but you never did. So I left. That's part of the reason why I was in Russia, I never expected you to be with my family... and I need to tell you one more thing." I nodded my head, telling him to go on.

"I'm so so so sorry for saying it was all Lissa who saved me." He shook his head. "She only stabbed me, but you, you went through so, so much trouble to try and save me." A tear escaped his eyes. "I never deserved you and I still don't, you're to good to be true." After a long moment of silent he whispered. "I still do and always will love you my Roza," His lips only inches away... He got off of me, and offered me his hand to pull me up.

"I can get up myself," I pushed myself up. We both walked back into the house.

"We need to go get those hands of yours bandaged up," Dimitri said.

"Or... I could go ask Oksana to heal them," I said with a grin.

"Or that," Oksana healed my hands, of course with a couple of questions here and there. Oksana gave me a newly fresh silver ring. That keeps away the darkness. It was spirit injected. I thanked her and then went up stairs. Got changed and lay down on the bed that I made on the floor. Just a couple blankets scattered across the room with two pillows on top. I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight, I had A LOT to think about.

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><p><strong>Like it? love it? hate it? <strong>

**i know it wasn't the best, a bit to rushed? i wrote this all in 3-4 hours or so... wasn't really keeping track. **

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	8. Habbits

**Here's the next chapter! **

**I know it's been awhile, but i've been really busy and all, **

**i could say that this is the busiest summer i've ever had!**

**Sorry about taking awhile! Anyways lets get to the story!**

**Let's thank Valdeh for being an awesome beta reader, and editing this chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I'm sure you all know this...**

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><p>Chapter Eight 'Habits'<p>

He's lied once; it's not so hard to do it again once you've started. Like once you start biting your nails you can't stop, you start biting them the next day, then the next, then the next-

It becomes a habit, defiantly not a good one, but whom do I care, they get chipped frequently, the longest they've ever survived was probably about a week, and I might've been in the infirmary for all I care. It might as well be my second home, since I'm there almost every day.

How can I believe and trust that he's telling me the truth, if he lied to me before, why not again?

"Rose," I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked.

Viktoria sighed, "I said, it's time for breakfast, now get off your lazy arse and move down those stairs before I have to drag you down myself."

"Uh-huh," I said, still starring up at the ceiling with my back to the bed.

"Do I have to get Dimi-" I jumped up.

"You know, I think my appetite sorta flared up inside of me," I announced, while running past Viktoria. I raced down the steps and found myself in the kitchen.

"What's cookin?" I asked, curiously.

Olena turned around, answering, "Bacon, eggs, and black bread."

"Mmm, your famous black bread can't wait," I remarked, excited. My mouth had started to water with all the different smells mixed in the air.

I sat down gracefully in the chair after asking if Olena needed my help, but she insisted that she was fine.

Someone cleared their throat next to me, making me jump slightly.

"Sorry, Didn't see your there," I muttered.

"Of course, it's the food that's on your mind," He commented, chuckling softly, then winked.

I blinked a couple of times. Did Dimitri Belikov just wink? No. I must be imagining things.

A couple seconds later Karolina, Sonya, Viktoria and Olena all showed up at the table.

"And I thought breakfast was ready," I mumbled. Glaring at Viktoria.

"I expected you to take longer getting up," She replied, simply.

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What? It's true!" She defended herself.

I shrugged, and said, enthusiastically, "It's food, I would never skip a meal."

Sparky would have thrown a comment at that

"I miss fire boy..." I spoke out loud.

"What?" Asked Sonya.

"I-I... nothing," I stuttered. Dimitri was looking at me. I caught his eye, looking straight into those chocolate brown pools, finding myself in a daze, how easily it is to get lost in those eyes.

"Foods arrived," I snapped out of...whatever I was in. Blinking several times. We ate breakfast, me not saying a word. When someone would ask or say a comment to me, I'd either just nod, yes or no, or say 'Mhmm.' Everyone gave up trying to talk to me, getting the point I didn't want to talk.

After we were done eating, I again offered to help with the dishes only to be declined, again.

I decided to go outside. I sat on a rocking chair, closing my eyes; I concentrated on trying to get into Lissa's head. I felt a pull, and then I was there.

'I- Lissa was in a meeting with a couple Guardians. Guardian Hans, Guardian Petrov and a couple others I don't recognize.

"How many?" Lissa asked.

"About 20, we lost 2 Moroi and 4 Guardians, 3 Moroi were taken as well as 3 Guardians," Lissa gasped.

"Christian, is-is he alright? Where is he? I need to see him!" Lissa started to panic, screaming at the end.

"Your majesty, he-" The Guardian that was speaking hesitated.

"He was one of the 3 Moroi that were taken," Lissa felt a hole in her stomach, she felt empty, cold and sick. A sob built up.

"We are sending a search party," Lissa said between sobs.'

I came out of her head in a gasp.

"Rose?" I jumped out of my seat, whacking into a hard chest.

"What did you see?" His sexy Russian voice asked.

I shook my head, "I have to go," I replied quietly. I ran past Dimitri, only to be stopped as he caught hold of my arm.

"What did you see?" He asked, no sign of emotion in his eyes. They were rock hard, plain.

"Let go of me!" I growled.

"No," He said, stubbornly.

"Will you if I told you what I saw?" I asked, annoyed.

"Maybe," He offered.

With a sigh I said, "Fine. There was an attack at court. 3 Moroi were taken along with 3 Guardians, and one of them was Christian." I said all in one breath. Dimitri looked stunned, and angry.

"You thought you could just run off without telling me this!" He yelled.

"You'd find out later anyways... now ... let me go! I need to go," My voice broke at the last part. Dimitri's eyes softened.

"I'm going with you," He said, all business now.

"I didn't expect you not to," I told him, truthfully.

Dimitri, finally released me, and we went inside. I found Olena in the kitchen doing dishes.

"Olena, Dimitri and I are going back to court, there's been a Strigoi attack," Olena spun around.

"Oh dear!" She gasped, "Hurry, you should get going, Sonya left for work so I will tell her why you both had to leave so suddenly. But, will you be coming back after?" I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

"Of course, this isn't goodbye forever," I told her. I unwrapped my arms around her; she had a couple tears coming from her eyes.

"Be safe," She whispered, patting the side of my face.

"Always," I replied.

I walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs. I went into my room to find Dimitri sitting on my bed.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" I remarked. Dimitri brought his eyes to mine and nodded.

"Then what are you doing in here?" I asked.

"Waiting for Viktoria to come back," He said, again no emotion.

"Why?" I asked, trying to get more information, or at least any emotion. Dimitri sighed, "Start packing," Was all he. Nope, wasn't going to crack him.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes Mother." I pulled out my suitcase from under the bed and opened it. I walked over to the dresser and took all my clothes out, placing them in the suitcase. I went into the connected bathroom and got my toothbrush, brush, deodorant, razor, and any other thing that was in the bathroom that belonged to me.

When I stepped out of the bathroom I found Viktoria and Dimitri hugging and murmuring things in Russian.

When they stepped away from their embrace I ran into Viktoria and hugged her.

"I'll miss you!" I cried.

"I'll miss you to! You better come back, or I'll have to hunt you down and kidnap you myself," She threatened.

"I will, no worries," I told her. A couple minutes later we let go of each other. We brought our stuff to the door. I still have to say goodbye to one more person, well two, but the others at work...

I found Karolina in her room sitting down on her bed reading a book.

"You know it's rude not to knock- oh, hey Rose! What's up?"

I explained to her about the attack at Court and that Dimitri and I are going back to help with a search party. We hugged and cried a bit and then it was Dimitri's turn to say goodbye.

I waited on the porch outside for Dimitri.

~0~0~0~0

"Are we there yet?" I whined. Dimitri groaned.

"For the hundredth time, no,"

"Now are we there yet?" Dimitri mumbled something in Russian, and I'm guessing it wasn't a compliment.

"Can you be quiet for 2 minutes?" He muttered, annoyed.

"Hmpft. Fine," I replied, looking out the window, starring outside for however long. A pounding in my head started to arrive, and black shadows lingered in the background.

"Ah, shot," I groaned.

Dimitri looked over at me, "What is it?" He asked, worry crossing his eyes.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said, shaking it off. Something warm touched my shoulder.

"Rose, what is it?" He asked more serious this time.

"Nothing," I retorted. Dimitri narrowed his eyes at me. I turned my head to look out the window again, trying to ignore the pain that was slowly coming into my head.

"Look at me," He told me.

I shook my head, "No."

"Please Rose, look at me." He asked, softly.

"No," Realizing I wasn't going to look at him he cupped my face with one of his hands, turning my face to look at him in the eye.

"You can tell me," He whispered.

"No, I can't, it's nothing, nothing to worry about," I tried to assure him. He brought his face closer to mine and whispered in my ear, "Please," I shivered and my breathing hitched.

I tried to say something but I couldn't find my mouth to work properly. Swallowing, hard. I finally managed to speak, "Remember the first time when we went on a plane to court?" Dimitri nodded his head. "And I started to see ghosts and stuff... Well, it's happening again, I guess since I'm getting closer to Lissa and I've started to try and get back into her head, it's been awhile since I've had to block out this stuff, it's on the edge but I'm still managing."

"Thank you for telling me," He murmured against my ear, his hot breath hitting my neck. My skin tingled where he was touching. Dimitri moved his face closer to mine so that our lips were only inches apart.

Did it get hot in here? Or is that just me?

I closed my eyes. He's going to kiss me. Oh, God he's going to kiss me. He neared closer; the slightest movement and our lips would be touching. How much I've wanted to kiss him, I've missed his touch, and well, him.

"Landing in Pennsylvania in ten minutes, please put on your seatbelts." The flight attendant said through the intercom.

Damn her. Dimitri pulled back. I sighed, slouching down in my seat, not really wanting to put on my seatbelt.

"Rose," Dimitri said, voice deep.

"Yeah?"

"Your seatbelt," He exclaimed, pointing towards it. I shrugged, not really caring.

"Put it on," He demanded.

"I'm good," I replied, relaxing back into my seat. Before I was able to have a reaction. Dimitri had pulled the seatbelt across me and buckled me in.

After the plane landed, a couple Guardians from court were waiting for us. We got into the black vans and rode back to Court. Back to my old life, back to Lissa, back to everything that I've tried to forget about.

Did you catch 'tried?' because that didn't work out as well as I planned.

I'll help with the search party, and after that I'll head back to Russia, and live with Dimitri's family again. Dimitri can do whatever he wants to do with his life, he doesn't want me. But then why was he just about to kiss me? I shook those thoughts to the back of my head.

The vehicle came to a stop. I looked out the window to find that we were at Court.

"Home," I whispered, If only that was still true.

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><p><strong>Love it? hate it? like it? <strong>

**Please leave a review! That's all i ask!  
>Next week July 31-August 4 i will be gone camping with my Church, so i will not be able to get any chapters up then. Sorry! <strong>


	9. Meetings

**Don't hate me, i am so sorry that i haven't updated for quite a while...**

**but in exactly a minute Bloodlines is out! :DD aren't you excited! can't wait to find out what happened with Adrian ;) **

**Valdeh is my permanent Beta Reader, she edited this chapter! :D**

**anyways, sorry it's so short... off to the story :D**

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><p>Chapter Nine 'Meetings'<p>

I was in a meeting with Queen Vasilisa. Just her and I.

"Ro… Guardian Hathaway, I just wanted to apologize—"

"There's no reason to apologize about anything, now can you get to the point?" I asked, interrupting her.

"Don't interrupt me," She snapped. "You have no right to do that after leaving."

"Mmm, but the only reason I left was because of you, your Majesty." I said innocently. Her face got red and she narrowed her eyes at me, there could have been steam coming out of her ears.

"You are only permitted here for the search party, nothing else," She said, her face hard.

"Excuse me, your Majesty, but I am afraid you are mistaken; I was never called to come here, I came on my own. Seeing as you needed the help."  
>Queen Vasilisa's eyes softened, there might even be a hint of guilt in her eyes.<p>

"Well, thank you for coming to help me, I appreciate that," She said with a small smile.

"You are excused, come back in the next two hours for the real meeting to start." I got up from the chair and stepped back.

"Your Majesty," I said while turning around. "It wasn't for you, it was for Christian." I finished as I walked out of the meeting room. I meant it. It was for Christian, he never did anything, sure he teased me but I did that too. The only people who pretty much accepted me were Adrian and Christian. The two people who really annoy me, but secretly I love them like brothers, and I wish I could have had the choice to tell Christian that… No. I will save Christian, he will not die.

I found myself in front of my room's door. Next to Dimitri's. I stepped in and glanced around. It had a queen sized bed, a mini fridge, a black leather couch, a coffee table and a T.V in front of the couch, and a black wooden dresser next to the bed as well as a bedside table with a lamp and a clock. (That'll be broken in the morning…)

I collapsed onto the bed and found myself in a deep slumber as soon as I hit the pillow.

I woke up to a knocking at my door. You're lucky clock, if that were you waking me up, it would be the crash of you hitting the door instead.

I dragged myself out of my bed and to the door; I opened it to reveal Dimitri.

I groaned, "What are you doing here?"

"Your late for the meeting," He said, calmly.

I cursed. Running from the door to my dresser, I grabbed my clothes and changed in the bathroom, quickly brushed my teeth and put my hair in a loose ponytail.

I opened my door to find Dimitri still standing there.

"You're still here," I mumbled. I pushed past him and started to head towards the meeting room. I could feel Dimitri's eyes glued to me the whole time we walked to the meeting. Ignoring it, I walked through the doors.

Guardians were sitting around the table with the Queen at the end.

"Thank you for deciding to join us Guardian Hathaway," I heard the Queen said, a snarl attacking her face.

I rolled my eyes. Taking a seat as far away from Queen Vasilisa as possible. The chair next to me shifted, I looked over to see Dimitri taking the seat beside me. I groaned.

"Really?" Dimitri shrugged.

It was the typical meeting, you know. Looking at a map from where the Strigoi came in, setting everything up for the 'surprise' attack. We still don't know for sure where they are, but a few of the guardians are working their best tracking the Strigoi.

After the meeting I had gone outside to get some fresh air. Walking along the path I heard someone running behind me. I spun around, expecting it to be a threat.

I calmed down when I saw it was Dimitri.

"It seems like you've been stalking me all day," I mumbled quietly, shocking myself at how calm I sounded.

Dimitri's started to laugh, "Stalking you?" I shrugged.

"Am I not allowed to come up to you to talk?" He asked, a hint of sadness in his voice.

I stood there pretending to think about it, "Nope." I started to turn around when Dimitri grabbed onto my arm, spinning me back to face him.  
>"Why have you been acting like you hate me?" He asked bringing his face closer to mine, hovering over my ear. I shivered as his hot breath came contact with my skin.<p>

"I don't hate you." I love you. Woah where did that come from? No I do not love him.

"Rose?" He asked, desperately.

He was oh so close; I was tempted to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close… I wanted to be closer to him. I found myself starring at his lips. I hadn't realized how much I've wanted to kiss him till now. To feel his lips move in sync with mine like so long ago. I tried to find my voice and uttered a "Yeah?"

"Did you hear anything I said the other night?" He asked sounding calm but had a billion emotions flashing across his eyes. The one that stuck out was pain, and one that scared me.

"Huh?"

"I love you, Roza." My breath caught in my throat. He pulled away slightly to look into my eyes. He started to search for something, I don't know what, but it looked like he found it.

I didn't know what to say, I know he said he loved me before, but I really think I love him again…

Before I could process what was happening, Dimitri had his lips pressed against mine. I melted into his touch, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling myself in trying to get closer.

The kiss was filled with need, longing, and passion. I licked his lips, Dimitri responding fast opened his mouth. Our tongues fighting over dominance, Dimitri winning, of course.

We came apart breathing heavily and fast. Still wrapped in each other's arms. I put my head on Dimitri's chest.

"How do I know your not lying?" I could feel the smirk on Dimitri's face as he put his head in the crook of my neck.

"Did that seem like I was lying?" I shook my head.

"I've missed you so much," I said.

"I've missed you much much more," he whispered, his Russian accent even thicker than before.

I shook my head, "That's not possible. You have no idea how much I suffered."

Dimitri pulled back.

"Look at me." Instead of complaining I did. Dimitri's eyes were full of sadness, love, and guilt.

"I wish I could change the past and fix up the mess I made, but I can't, I regret saying what I said to you, but I said it, and I can't change that I did, but right now I can say over and over again that I love you, so much. Your so beautiful, it hurts me sometimes." He finished with a wink. I giggled.

"Aww, thank you, it's nice to hear that again," I said with a smirk.

"Do you forgive me?" I waited a few seconds before answering.

"I need to think about it." Dimitri frowned. Running his thumb along my jaw. I sighed. Watching the pain cross Dimitri's face. I hate seeing him like this… but I can't so easily forgive him, he hurt me. And it's not something I can just forget about. I leaned my head against his chest, closing my eyes.

"Rose, is that you?" I opened my eyes and turned around to see a guy with light blue eyes and wavy blonde hair.

"Dylan?"

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><p><strong>A cliffy, hehe, well let's just hope i don't take over a month next time ;) <strong>

**please review telling me how you thought about it :)**

**I know it was boring and short, sorry bout that! But we got some Dimitri & Rose action :) I know you've all been waiting for that, huh? **

**Please check out my story on wattpad (Hidden Secrets), it would mean a lot, and you won't regret it, it's a teen-fiction, romance. **

** /1937844-hidden-secrets **

Seventeen year old, Lauri Henderson recently suffered a devastating car accident, killing both parents and her younger sister Jenny.  
>Luckily Lauri survived the horrid crash, but in turn had to deal with a few side effects. Remembering things from the past is very blurry, only on occasion does Lauri experience flash backs of her life... Or somebody else's.<br>The only other family Lauri has is her Uncle Dustin who lives days away in California. Things seem to be alright at first, only to realize that he's keeping a secret, a secret that could have changed everything

**Please make an account and comment, vote (if you like) Fan (if you love ;) it's quick and easy. Thank you! :DDD**

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	10. Dylan's back

**Whoa! I updated! :D Shocking, right? It's been sooo long... Anyways, i'm not gonna bore you with my blabbing so here you all go!**

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><p>Chapter Ten '<em>Let the fight begin<em>'

"It's good to know you recognize me," He said with a smirk. I cowered under Dimitri, if looks could kill. I wouldn't have even had any time to say 'goodbye' to Dylan. Dimitri was glaring at him, until time ends. I swear by the looks of it, Dylan's about to shit his pants.

I placed my hand on Dimitri's chest and gave him a little push. He blinked a few times before looking at me.

"Just leave him alone."

Dimitri's face-hardened. "He's the one that you ditched me for." I scrunched my face in confusion.

"I kept my eyes on you the whole time, until it was to far to see you…. You walked off with him." He growled under his breath.

I sighed. "Dimitri, you said some pretty awful things to me that night—" He put his hand over my mouth.

"Shh. It was a mistake, I didn't mean those things, and I wish I could take them back. But I can't. And I want you to stay away from him," He whispered against my ear. I started to get really pissed off. He doesn't have any right to tell me to stay away from him.

"We're not even together! You can not tell me to stay away from anyone," My voice started to rise.  
>"Is everything alright over there?" I jumped hearing Dylan's voice.<p>

I turned around to face him, tugging my shirt down.

"Yep, Dimitri was just leaving." Dimitri was about to protest, but I quickly turned around to face him. I leaned up and pecked his lips.

"Now go," I mouthed. He finally gave in giving a sigh, and then turned around. Once he was out of sight, Dylan came forward to stand next to me.

"Can I talk to you?" I thought about it for a while.

"Sure." I followed him back to wherever he was taking me. He brought me to the apartment that he was staying in at Court.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked him.

"About last time I saw you…"

"Oh…" Walking into his room, he shut the door behind me. Grabbed my forearms and pushed me against a wall. His lips hovering only inches away from mine.

"Leave him," He whispered.

I stood there confused. "What?" I croaked out.

"Leave him," He said again, a little more forcefully.

"Why?" I asked, dumbfound.

"Rose, you don't need him, at first you said you couldn't get back into a relationship because you're not ready. You must be now, I just saw you kiss that dude."

I shook my head. "I just can't." I sighed.

"And why not?" I could feel the tension coming from him; he was starting to become angry.

"He was the one I was talking about before, why I couldn't get into another relationship."

"And you're back with him!" He backed his head away, still trapping me with his arms, anger clear in his eyes.

"No… Not yet anyways, but it's none of your business. Let go of me." His hands were digging into my skin.

"I said, let-go-of-me!" I growled slower. He still didn't let go. Time for plan B. I brought my leg up, kicking exactly in the right place. He quickly let go of my arms and started grunting.

"I told you to let go of me." I told him, smirking. I walked over him and opened the door.

"I'm not giving up on you!" He called out, right before I slammed the door behind me.

'What have I gotten myself into?' I thought, while shaking my head. I have to many problems going on in my life. But there's one thing that I have to focus on now. Christian.

I went back to my room and collapsed on my bed. Sometimes I wish that life could be easier, I wish Strigoi didn't exist or wouldn't take away everything that means something to you. They took the one thing away from me that meant the most in the world to me. And it hasn't been the same since. I wish it could be, but other problems got in the way. And it's going to take a lot of work to get it back to the closest to normal it can; But first, it's time to save Christian.

The Guardians had finally tracked the Strigoi, or so we hoped… After getting an hour nap, I was ready and up for the fight.

I was in a van with Dimitri, Stan, Alberta, and Eddie. Dimitri was driving while Eddie and I were catching up, for we hadn't talked since I left. I hugged Alberta and started up a conversation with her. I even started talking to Stan, even though he's always been a pain in the ass, I've missed him, a lot more than I ever thought I would.

We arrived at the old run down fire department. I know right, Strigoi living in a fire department, when fire is one of the three ways to kill a Strigoi. Thinking about fire… I'm going to kick ass for Christian.

I followed as planned, kept low and waited as the other group barged into the building. As soon as the door was knocked down, the fight began.

Screams and cries were heard all around me. Blood was shed and lives were lost. But I couldn't mourn about it now. I had people too save. Loved ones even.

I was fighting a Strigoi; it was a female, one who had used to be a Moroi. She had light blonde hair and sky blue eyes, which were tinged with red. I blocked the blow she was going to hit me with and surprised her by pretending to punch her with my left arm, but really kicked her in her right shin. Causing her to falter, and that's all I needed. In one smooth movement I had her pinned beneath me. I brought my stake back and quickly brought it forward, digging into her heart.

She screamed, and then the life went out of her eyes. It's always the same, but I can never hesitate. I have more Strigoi to kill.

Only seconds passed and another Strigoi was charging for me. This time it was a male; he was tall and built strongly. His moves were skilled and fast, a past dhampir.

I got to it with no hesitation. It was a good fight, but I was tired. Hardly ever do I stumble, but I did, it was slight. But that's all that is needed for a Strigoi to get the upper hand.  
>The Strigoi pushed me back, causing me to slam into the wall behind me. I banged my head against the wall, making the breath come out of me. The Strigoi started moving towards me, fast, probably ready to finish me off.<br>No way was that going to happen. I came here to save Christian, and no way would I let some Strigoi kill me before I saved him, nor ever would I let a Strigoi kill me.

I pushed myself up from the ground, ready to fight. No matter how much pain I was in. But before the Strigoi could get a foot closer to me he suddenly went up in flames. My eyes widened as I noticed it wasn't one of your fire users we had brought, but in fact, it was Christian.  
>I felt a huge grin rise on my face. I knew there was a chance that he really might not make it, and I hadn't realized how much I cared till now. Another guardian came and finished off the Strigoi that had attacked me. Christian then ran over to me, putting an arm around me to steady me.<p>

"Let's go," He said.

I pulled away from him. "What? No there's still—" I glanced around to find we had killed all the Strigoi, blood and dead bodies were scattered against the ground. But not all of them were Strigoi.

Gulping down the sorrow I felt I turned to face Christian and gave him a nod, telling him 'we can go.'

As soon as we stepped out of the house I heard a tiny ticking noise. Pushing Christian forward I yelled at him to 'run.'

I ran with him as far as we could get from the house before I told him to 'drop.'

We fell onto the ground, holding onto each other as the fire department behind us exploded. It was pretty insane. The sight I was seeing. A huge amount of orangey flames spread around the whole building and it made this huge CA boom sound, piercing my ears.

More screams and cries. I couldn't handle it, the amount of death I had to face today. After the explosive finished, the guardians and Moroi that had been rescued were led off to a separate vehicle that contained a doctor. A separate group of guardians went off to go look for any guardians or Moroi who had been caught in the explosive, and I do hope it wasn't a lot. No, I hope it wasn't any.

Queen Vasilisa would heal any of them that were seriously injured back at court, though. But if any had been killed… I couldn't finish the thought, but then another one popped up in my head.

After escorting Christian towards the black vehicle, I glanced around, trying to find sight of Dimitri. I started to panic when I couldn't find him. What if he didn't make it? What if he was still in that building when the explosive went off?

No, Christian and I were the last out of the building… weren't we? My heart was pounding fast and I couldn't help but have that turning feeling in my stomach, scared that I'd lost him again.

My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't handle the thought; it hurt, both physically and emotionally. No matter how much pain he had put me in by those hurtful words… I could never stop loving him.

"Dimitri?" I couldn't help but call out to him; I had to know that he was still alive, that he hadn't got caught in the explosive.

Warm strong arms wrapped tightly around me and a head was suddenly leaning on my shoulder.

"Ssh. I'm here," His voice was so soft and gentle.

I cried out with relief. My stomach no longer had that horrible twisting feeling; instead it was replaced with a warm and funny feeling. I can't explain how happy and relieved I am. I was smiling; so much that it hurt my face.

I spun around wrapping my arms around his waist, for he was too tall for my arms to wrap around anywhere else. I dug my head against his chest, smelling his aftershave scent. The one I loved oh so much.

I really never wanted to let go of him ever again. I stood on my tippy-toes. Maybe it was bad, that I was about to kiss him with the type of situation that we just went through. But I had to know that he was really there.

Our lips touched and electricity went through my body, something I don't think will ever change. It was full of love and passion, as if we couldn't get enough of each other.  
>After awhile Dimitri pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine.<p>

"We should probably get going," He breathed out, huskily.

Taking a deep breath, trying to breath normally from that amazing kiss we just shared. I nodded, giving him a large smile.


	11. AUTHORS NOTE

Hey everyone! I know, I'm sorry it's been forever since I last uploaded. But let's just say I abandoned this site, I apologize again but for the past year and a half I have been working on Wattpad. It's an amazing site and I think all of you should check it out. I've been posting my story 'Mistakes' on that website and will be continuing 'Mistake' on Wattpad, I am not adding anymore chapters onto this website. 'Never let go' previously known as 'last sacrifice' will take a long time to get finished. It's the first story I've ever published on the Internet, and let's face it. It really sucks. I may possibly edit it over time and finish it, but it won't be for awhile because I have many other stories I'm working on Wattpad.

If any of you want to check me out on Wattpad my username is 'Emii611'

wattpad /2120667-mistakes-chapter-one#.Uedi9qU2_zI

**(Without spaces and add the .com )**

Here is the link to Mistakes on wattpad. It is edited, and chapter ten is longer. I have edited all of my chapters recently on fanfiction with what I had on wattpad. There are four new chapters on wattpad and I am working on the fifth, and so if you want to read them please go and read it on that site, thank you (:


	12. Chapter 11: Mournful Memories

**A.N I decided I would post chapter eleven, so I could announce again that 'Mistakes**' **can be found on wattpad under the user 'Emii611'. I have uploaded chapter 16 on wattpad, and so please go there, make an account and comment + vote! It would be very much appreciated! Also, please check out my story called "Steele His Heart". The summary is below. My amazing readers, it would be wonderful if you could support me with this story! Please check it out on wattpad! (: **

"I know you miss me." His hot breath fanned against my neck, making a cold shudder run through my body. We were merely inches apart; frightening me in ways I didn't know possible. I was so close to my chance of winning. But what did I do? I did what I always do.

I ran.

Staying away from trouble and keeping up her grades was what Kasey Hawkins strived for. She wasn't the type of girl who spent her time drooling over hot boys or talking about the latest fashion trend. She kept to herself most of the time, hiding in the shadows, with her one and only best friend, Ann Moore, who has a constant passion for the wild side of life.

However, when Ann convinces Kasey to go to one of those 'amazing' high school parties, she manages to make possibly one of the worst mistakes ever, which she will certainly regret for the rest of her life. She made a deal with the devil, aka Erika Carlson.

Will Kasey be able to steal the heart of Colin Steele? The most arrogant, but hottest guy at Yorkton High? Or will she have to spend the rest of her life as his girlfriend's maid?

Chapter Eleven 'Mournful Memories'

Five guardians were lost. You may be thinking 'That's not to many.' But it is. It's more than enough. I would have preferred zero. But when it comes to fights between the Strigoi and Dhampirs. Never does everyone survive.

Now it was a time for mourning. I didn't know any of the guardians that had been lost-died. But I still came to the Ceremony out of respect.

The people who knew them shed tears together. But after, you have to move on. Guardians are killed almost everyday, along with Moroi every here and there. It shouldn't be that way, though. Once the Moroi go into action and start agreeing with fighting alongside with the guardians, not as many would be killed and Moroi would be able to fend on their own.

I stood up as the names of the dead guardians were being said. But one name, one that I was extremely familiar with, was said. I couldn't believe my ears. It couldn't be true. It must be a mistake. My eyes started to water and my hands began to shake. I waited until it was my turn to go up to the front and say a few words about him. It's usually either a family member or a close friend. But I was the closest to a friend he had here.

I gulped down the tears that seemed to be stuck in my throat and proceeded to the front of the stage, walking in front of the microphone.

"Dylan Brown... He was gorgeous, really. A pain in the ass during those few times we spoke, but he was worth the time." Maybe not when he told me to stay away from Dimitri... but I couldn't blame him for that. It was a time of good thoughts and memories. Even if there were only a few. So I continued to speak, swallowing down the pain I felt in my heart, due to the loss of a good friend.

"I think," I paused, realizing something. "I think I'm really going to miss him." Hardly was I ever emotional like this. But it was fair, being allowed to cry over a death of a young person, so much like Mason. Only Mason was murdered in order of trying to safe me. His neck was snapped in only seconds. Due to those heartless walking bodies of death. Tears escaped my eyes. Not only was it due to Dylan, but also Mason. There will always be apart of me that will miss him. That will miss both of them.

I went back to my seat next to Dimitri. I looked at him to find him staring at me with a look of sympathy, understanding and love. He gave me a small smile, which I returned and then I looked back up at the front of the stage. I felt his hand find mine, and he gave me a soft squeeze.

Queen Vasilisa then appeared on stage. Her turn to speak about the guardians. I listened to her as she talked, something I hadn't realized before was that Dylan's body hadn't been found.

The explosives must have disintegrated his body, which means he was probably in the house when they went off.

I couldn't believe I had been making out with Dimitri, thinking everyone I loved and cared about was fine. When Dylan had been killed only minutes before Dimitri and my kiss. But I couldn't come to regret it. I just couldn't. I would never regret any moment I'll ever share with Dimitri. He's the one thing I'll treasure forever.

Lissa... I don't know why I'm thinking about her now. Maybe it's because she's at the front right now speaking, or maybe it's because I always thought we'd forever be inseparable. We were best friends. I knew everything about her. Partly because we use to be bonded and I could feel everything she was.

But I don't anymore and I feel further from her than I ever have before.

I watched her as she talked and I suddenly felt my heart ache. She caught my eye, and as she spoke the last part it was as if she were directing her words at me.

"-Putting themselves out there to kill the Strigoi, it was incredibly strong, and very brave. I will forever hold my respect for them, and I hope the rest of you will too. For the guardians deserve much more than us, the Moroi, have given them. They will be greatly missed, and there will always be a place in my heart where I'll hold onto these amazing guardians who are worth to be remembered."

That last sentence. It's as if she was really looking at me, like she was truly sorry for how she'd treated me. But I couldn't be sure. Sometimes it's really weird, not being able to tell what she's thinking or feeling. It irritates me sometimes. And I'm worried what Spirit can do to her at times, well more like most of the time.

That's when I realized something. Gasping I muttered under my breath, "Shit."

Dimitri glanced over at me, giving me a disapproving look. I looked over at him and said, "I have to fix this."

I was about to jump out of my seat, ready to go stomping over to the Queen. But Dimitri knew me too well and gracefully threw his arm in front of me before I could get up.

"Rose, please, not now," he pleaded.

I was going to snap back, but I saw the gentleness of his face as he slightly shook his head.

I sighed and nodded, relaxing back into my seat. This wasn't the time to apologize. Not yet, but soon.


End file.
